Hectic exam week... and finally, time to rest, and go home.

Yay! 2 weeks of exams and previous studying has finally ended, leading into the new times of home and rest. i'd be back this sunday! 22 Nov. woopie! see ya all soon!

all the food, friends, family, fun!

Forbidden Love

Why must a relationship be seen normal, then again, wad's normal? the perception given to us since young, or how the media portrays it? or u just feel it is right for it to be a certain way, to be normal. think again, wad's the truth? the truth is simply something everyone agrees on. but it changes when somebody comes out with a better hypothesis.

anyway, i watch 盛夏光年 a couple of weeks ago and it still lingers. and i just watched love of siam. similar concept, but both were great. good enough to make me ponder over them for days. 十七岁的天空 wasn't my cup of tea. it was funny but nonetheless trashy. 盛夏光年 and love of siam both talks about forbidden love, which therefore states in the title. and it really pricks those who can really relate to it, and i'm talking about myself. haha. and even if it doesn't appeal to u or make u melt, it would at least make u wonder about the true definition of love between two ppl. any two ppl. does it matter if you are a guy, or a girl? my heart tells me, it doesn't matter at all. ignore the gender differences, and look at the genuinity and simplicity of the relationship, just how they care so much for each other. it is too beautiful.

i just hope that one day, the world will accept 'the abnormality', and see beyond male or female, good or bad. and realise what is love, true love.

Wicked

Upon many recommendations and reviews, i heeded my theatrical needs and went ahead with the musical, despite the utterly heavy price that came with it. nonetheless, worth it. great set, fantastic cast, lovely songs, wonderful musical. now i recommend it to you. probably the first and last musical i'll watch in sydney, cos it's simply too exorbitant for me to pursue. then again, good shows that i really wanna catch but wont be going to sg soon will still be considered. afterall, i wanna catch at least one performance at the overrated opera house! wicked was at a smaller capitol theatre. guess wad, programmes went for AUD 20 per booklet. crazy or wad? we even stayed back to see if anyone didn't want theirs anymore, so that we could... u know... take it? haha. but i guess a $20 programme is just too expensive to throw.

exams in a week and i'm getting worried. worried at myself still being so slack! i haven really started my revision, but look around me! even some angmohs started! argh. have to start work NOW.

anyway, can't wait for exams to end. cos i'd be going back home after that! yeah! flying back on the 22 Nov. can't wait to see me right... haha.

also, i got a piece of wonderful news that made me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAAPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! shall tell u again when it's confirmed! till later!

my blog getting boringer hor?

so... to start it off. show u a pic of myself in canberra, which i went during my mid-sem break.



went to canberra for a few days, where it rained non-stop and never got above 10 degrees C. went to the zoo, parliament house, floriade (a flower fest with mainly tulips). then drove up to wollongong, passingby goulborn, and kiama. hands frozen to the point of pain so often that taking photos was so torturous.


floriade 2009




emo spots... eerie. black lanterns?!




parliament house



national zoo








rare white lions. not albino! but recessive allele caused this. same as the white tigers in sg zoo.

and this is nara the cheetah. how do i know? cos we wanted to take a pic of it and it was so far! so being sian about it, we looked around and there was a sign that told us its name. so i shouted "Nara!" and it came trotting happily to us! so cute!


merino@goulborn


blowhole and lighthouse@Kiama



my yummy T-bone steak


ok. that's just the road trip. shall tell u more about my life next time! haha. so bhb, then again. it's my blog mah. lol. ok tc yall!

looking back

as i left the gate of 39, i couldn't help myself but look back. cos there's where all the memories were made. i looked at my photos and thanked myself for being such a cam-whore. for it captured moments that illustrated memories in me, deep down. i always know y i liked ns. it was cos of the friends i made in it. thanks guys...

a quickie.

a wild, animalistic, playful activity.

i meant a fast update. i know wad u were thinking of... *slap*!

in sch now. just had this really fun animal handling class! i played with ferrets, mice, rabbits, chickens, snakes! fun fun!

ok. back to my pile of work. reports... essays... tuts... quizzes... wad not.

see ya soon!

updates

ok. this entry is gonna be boring cos no issues. haha

anyway, previous weeks were fun at camden with more animal handling. cows, sheep (i miss dorry!), pigs, poultry, fish. haha. and more to come! furs and feathers~

and sch work is piling up like crazy. so many reports due soon and tests coming up, etc. i wanna go home soon to play!

ok. that's all for now! tc yall!

just some recent updates.

other than sch, which by now most of u know isn't as easy as it seems(cos for most of u, uni has started.), here are some of the non-mundane stuff.

on National Day, Singapore's one that is. 9 August 2009, i joined a run called city2surf sydney, an annual large scale major event in syd. i signed up last sem, and paid for the marathon thinking it would be a normal one. it turned out, to be... a normal one. haha! except for the fact that it broke the world's record of being the largest scale for that yr with most runners! a wholly 75000 ppl!


check out my goosebumps! it was like 5 degrees C and i only wore a t-shirt with fbts.
so it was, a run, which i signed up under a grp called, Sg Nat Day run team. so for once, i represented sg in a sport event overseas! Go team Singapore! haha. anyway. amongst those cam-whoring of the beautiful beaches and scenery along the way( from start point hyde park to end point, bondi beach. 14 km in total). it was really relaxing and entertaining to see the bands along the way and some nonsense ppl doing their nonsense stuff.





so i completed the run in 1.38hrs. slow but considered good since i've not been running, and was taking pics and vids of everything as i ran. i mean, afterall, it's my first run overseas. wanted to join the harbour bridge run in sept. 42 scenic marathon. but guess wad. it's 200 dollars. that just turned me off.

anway, we had a little celeb at our place as we streamed NDP live from our laptop and plugged it in to the tv. luckily never lag. so 19 ppl squeeze in my small and humble living room, and we cheered and screamed and sang along with all the nostalgia. ppl brought flags and i held on to one throughout the whole thing, waving non-stop.

something funny: we were all so excited wacthing channel 5 on aussie tv. and even the commercials were so good. guess we are all so home sick!

so, laksa was prepared and we had a great night, though its the first time i din watch ndp in sg. cos usually i kill to get tics to watch it live, or at least in the comfort of my home. for many, they say they've never been so patriotic before. haha. as for me, i've always been so patriotic, seriously.

ok. then some sch stuff. i was with pigs last week, and this week cattle. so handling piglets, so cute! and restraining the super strong holstien dairies or milking them. so fun. next week sheep, then poultry and fish. for bio, i dissected locust, squid, bivalve (a kind of clam... or ...si harm~ lol), and next week rats!





also, Wicked the musical is finally coming to sydney! so critically acclaimed winning so many awards, and i will watch it! a must! it wont go to sg and since i'm here... hahah! i always sigh when i see the large banner saying "broadway coming to you as close as melbourne" and i would think wad the.... i mean sydney has more ppl and the opera house for crying out loud! and after giving up sighing for the whole of last sem, they suddenly announced that they decided to close melb on nat day! then move to syd next month! i heard the london cast was better though. well, i'd have to make do with the aussie cast. closest i can get to. at least i get to watch wicked! but sadly it's not at opera house but capitol theatre. y?! nvm, i will still try to catch smth at the opera house. haha!

sze's coming later from melb so meeting her for dinner! and musuem later! buffet! tuts... reports...

mom's coming! quick! can't wait to see her though i'd expect withdrawal symptoms again...

ok update again next time.

take care and tok to me! rmb i do love u all!

I know I'd be a great husband...

... if only i could...

summary

Just a short summary of my activities in sg for the past month! I had so much fun! Thanks for meeting up with me!

29 June: Reach airport, met Jam and kf. Thanks for picking me up! Chatted a while at coffee club T3. My parents came! Went home for delicious dinner!

30: durian with jam and kf

1 July: ran with jam around his place. So tiring after not running for 4 mths! clubbing with xx and her spring scholarship frens at phuture. But didn’t get to club though paid. Haha. If u don’t know y read past entries

2: kiwi promotion at Carrefour suntec

3: bitch club for nyonya dinner buffet at bugis

4: Jam, white tangerine

5: dinner at amk seafood place for chilli crabs, oat prawns, yam rimg ++, with fam and popo.

6: met xx and her expected surprise at $10 club ktv with Sheryl and yenling

7: at home!

8: O.T.O.T at drama centre with junyi, sam, li, gy. Then deserts at 阿秋 desserts at liang siah st with jam too.

9: met jloe for carl’s junior, bowling, river cruise, astons, churros.

10: met yl, sh, jus, gh, yh for dinner at a vegetarian place near bugis. Then to iluma for crepes.

11: family gathering at xiao yi’s house

12: tcc with jloe, Alison, cali, izhar, khai

13: botanical gardens with jam and kf (saw cynthia koh 许美珍)， then hard rock café, then goodwoodpark hotel for durian cakes (saw elvin ng), then with calvin to far east for ham’s bdae prez.

14: jam, li, kf at timbre arthouse. Our first official time with 53A duo! Support them every tues there! Sara and Alvin rock!

15: job briefing at Queensway for heaven and earth jasmine green tea. Great taste never lies… ha! Then with kf, jam, joseph, franz to ikea. Then to cine for ice-age 3 3D!

16: Malaysia JB at citiplaza with bitch club. Ben, pg, sha sha and ys. K buffet dinner at neway and shopped all over the mall!

17: heaven and earth at raffles place. Took pic with pierre png. Then went to ham’s grandma house for his 21st! then jam, kf, and calvin to the ice bar at boat quay.

18: at home!

19: lunch at hog’s breath café with fam

20: maple clinic. Then with kf to tampines 1 and tm for ajisen ramen and then Harry potter 6. Disappointing though. Jamming with jam at night

21: k at liang court party world, with geok, gene, benny, shichun, jam, jianyang. Then to timbre arthouse again! To support 53A Duo. Kf joined us.

22: packing. 日全食. Then met jam, kf and li for durians, and jamming. Then jus and gh and sh came over to my place. Wanted to have fun but really not in the mood so they left early though they were prepared to go to the airport in the morn for me. Thanks and sorry!

23: Back to Sydney… sobs 

my new add

46/13-17 Greek Street
Glebe NSW 2037

46 is the unit, which is on level 5. 13-17 is the part of the street, greek st. glebe is the suburb. NSW is New South Wales, which is the state, and 2037 is the postal code.

take care!

As soon as i came, i had to go back.

I'm really saddened by the fact that my hols in sg were so short. 3 weeks is indeed too short for me! although i've met quite a few, and only those who really meant as friends! haha, but still it didn't feel enough. it was as though i just left and i had to return to this place, where there is nothing but studying, expensive everything. the first was the internet that i had to get used to again. internet back home was a just spam and leave it on thing, view wad u want fast. but here, sigh. back to uploading pics in sch... lame.

so sudden that i had to catch the flight back. i haven spent enough time with my family, cos i was out everyday, and is rather guilty of it. but i just wanted to meet up as much as i could and soak in the atmosphere. i feel like crying, cos i dun wake up in my comfort home and bed anymore, and see my mum as she tells me wad breakfast there is to eat. so relaxed. now, everything by oneself. i'm spoilt, so i'd rather have things my way.

well, it's a study hard from now on. high distinctions await my grasp, and vet science is at my door!

Thanks once again to all who met me before i left. and all throughout the whole 3 weeks to make time for me. i really really really appreciate it!

Tell me

wad shud i do. at the age of 21 and i'm still struggling with human relationships. i need to learn how to handle all my relationships better, be it for friends or for family. wad's wrong with me?

anyway, i have had too much fun in sg over the past week i really dun wan the departure to come! shall update my fun and exciting adventures another time!

to all concerned, give me some time to learn to be a better brother, a better son, a better friend, a better me.

Once a Singaporean, Always a Singaporean.

If there's anything new to learn from my experience in studying in sydney, is that i can love my country more than i already do! i mean, i am patriotic in many ways, not just wanting to watch ndp live. in many aspects, Singapore to me is the best country in the world. dunno if lky has been trying to psycho us but it's definitely working on me! i simly love Singapore more than ever now!

We r singapore, singaporeans~

ok. after meeting with xx for that crazy k session, met lili, jy, sam, gy for a play at nat lib drama centre. Own Time Own Target. it was great! i loved it. definitely not the best play but a really funny one in a long time!

the cast of terence tay, nelson chia, and the funny malay and hokkien beng was super hilarious! the 1st act on msk, office politics. the 2nd i prefer. esp with all the marching songs, drills, sop, tekan sessions. really nostalgic! but my fav part would be on the secret of england boy by terence tay. he's singing imporved since sg idol i think. anyway,the way it was portrayed was reflective. and even before he revealed, i kinda knew cos ppl like us feel the same way. yet being perceived as another kind and unacceptence by other is a constant worry. yet u ccan do nothing abt it! oh... the songs he sang, i wanna hear it again! every word so true and close to heart! i was nodding the whole way as he sang. haha! and felt relieved for him when he got the support he needed. the understanding from friends. and that's y i appreciate all of u who understand my plight and i sincerely thank each of u for being there for me! (if u have watched it... cheer up buddy, pls dun cry, cheer up buddy pls dun sigh~)

i went out with jloe today for bowling. having lost touched, he was rather good! and he won the 1st 2 rounds. then we decided on a 3rd game that i won! wahaha! highest score. yeah! haha. u must have regretted suggesting the 3rd round! and i only upload the one i won! yay. not fantastic but still... me 122. jloe. 71. haha.



dun ask me y i 'dou ji yan'. we suddenly both happened to be!

then he came up with this brilliant idea, to visit Singapore in a way, we haven't for ages. guess wad, river cruising! we were like tourists but who cares. i need to learn more abt my own country anyway. do u know enough to be questioned by a tourist? haha!


along, the merlion, pass the esplanade and the floating platform and the undergoing constructions of marina sands, the fullerton, cbd, and clarke quay. the old boats were such a nice way to resee Singapore. on water! oh. so much fun. and when u put 2 cam whores together, the cam can't rest. and indeed, the batt died towards the end! haha!

first few days back

so to continue. i went on to carrefour suntec and became a kiwi mascot!

kinda fun to be ableto dance in public without feeling shy. and ppl punched me, touched me, molested me... haha. the kids were cute. and i keep forgetting that i dun need to smile when i took photos. ha!

then went out with bitch club yest, all except sha sha. and we had nonya buffet near bugis! sedap! upload pics next time on fb or here. with the infamous babi ponteh, ahar, ayam buah keluah, penang laksa, lontong, rojak, and all the kueh kueh. it was shiok to feast after so long not having to taste them! nice overall, but ambience and variety lacked. but with all the 拜托s and 就是讲s. we all had a good laugh. and jx's 饭后余兴节目. haha! ben cried laughing. lol.

咱们赶快去大马血拼了拉！

on the way back, saw gene and geoks. haha. see if we shall meet again ya?

Oh yeah! i'm baaacckkk!

finally. i stepped foot on the tiny island, where i have kept all my fond memories. ahhh. wad a wonderful feeling to finally be back home!

though the last days in sydney was kinda touristy, i really wasn't more excited than to fly back to where i belong. my first time flying alone!

thx to my dearest jam and kf who came to fetch me at the airport. and my family!

had durians with jam and kf after so long without having them. it's the season! and tis the season to be jolly, falalalala lalalala. haha. wrong not christmas. but i'd be back then too!

clubbed with xx, or rather, i only got to the toilet. then cabbed back. xx... u know wad u shud do huh! wasted $ cos i didnt get to even step into phuture nor the club. just the toilet where i waited and watched strangers wobble and puke. seeing them wasted, esp the girls, makes me pity them. like y u allow urself to be in such a state and how do u protect urself from clubbing perverts?

ok. gonna be a kiwi later! hope it's fun!

Can't wait!

it has been confirmed! unless something happens... choi choi! i'd be back in sg by night of 29 june! so so excited! never been this excited when i'm returning to my own country! can't wait for so many things! fam, frens, food... ahhhh! everything! ppl! we MUST meet up k! cos i've only got a short 3 weeks in sg. then i've gotta return to sydney for my 2nd sem.

AHHH! can't wait. as for now, i seriously need to study hard for my exams which is in a few days! after which, i'll move house, then... fly back! this time for real!

See ya soon! for real too!

Ideal together?

i always knew i shud have given up. i have, but... i know that i shouldn't put my heart and time into something i know for sure isnt gonna happen. but i just cant help it. the more i think, the more i fell the ideal nature of having each others' company. seeing others together is the time when the sadness sinks in the most, biting u from the core. i wan it so bad but the real pull is when i know its never possible for me. i try to be optimistic bout it. but seriously, wad r the chances... have just been a few hrs apart and i'm like that already...

on a lighter note, ORD loh! eh? nono, wrong event... haha. i meant, Last day of sch! but dun start all celebrations just yet, cos the thing is... exams in a week! sigh. more studying. i need full marks and i will work for it! *determined look* haha.

today, was at camden. milked cows! dairy- Holstein frester breed? oh no. forget le. need to re-memorise. and they shit and pissed everywhere! but that will never stop me from trying! cos i love animals too much! and we also went down to the calves area. they were so cute! i held out my hand for them to suckle! so sweet! my whole hand was literally inside its mouth. haha. a lot of saliva though. mooo! pics shall be uploaded in a few days. sorry! haha.

agent called us and we got the apartment! yeah! shall sign the papers and pay the bond and rent soon! before it 'flies' away! yeah... and u know wad that means?! i may be able to come back in my jul hols after all! cos my housing was my worry. if i left without a place to put all my stuff safely and have no place to stay when i return, i cant leave till i settle it. and now that it's nearly settled... my hands r reaching to the air ticket counters! wait for me!

see ya soon! i hope!

it finally came and went like a breeze

My 21st birthdya in Sydney... small scaled but better than i expected, since i thought i'd be having no one to celebrate with!

it started with the surprise the day b4 my bdae. my fam ordered a cake online and the bakery sent it to my place. and when i was asked by reception to collect, i was greeted by balloons and a gorgeous cake! i'll show u the pic some day. looks good, tastes great! thx sis! u know my taste well.

for dinner, the girls and justin cooked a western dish for me! pan-seared fish with sauted veg and mash. yum. they wanted to treat to to a meal and relive my cooking duties for a day. but i can't stop cooking. so i added 2 dishes, calamari and hot pepper soup. ham: go chu jang cho a he yo! then at night, we had a mini celebration in my room with the grp of unilodge sg frens. ate cake sing song, chatted. thx for the usyd jacket!

the next day, after sch (at 5PM!), ko chan and me went for karaoke at chinatown. sing until no voice. singing skills deprove like crazy. ko chan sings well, all in jap though. haha. then we went for a jap dinner in QVB. oh. the pork ramen was so good! the soup is sweet. the meat so tender chopsticks could easily pull them apart. then we headed to the point for light drinks. cheap booze... after that, we went back for him to try my cake. and we finished to whole thing. haha. actually only left 2 slices lah. then, we walked to the bus stop. as he boarded the bus and it drove away, the clock from unilodge clock tower struck 12, and i turned back into a toad. nono. that's not how it ends. i went back to my room. thx ta, for spending my bdae with me!

I want to thank all who wished me thru all ur interesting and sweet ways. i know it's hard to get me when i'm overseas! thx for ur cards, wishes, texts, calls! and the bdae song vid from jgyys! so gan donged when i open the attachment!

love yall! zhu wo sheng ri kuai le...(wen lan)

sheep restraining

loved it! finally something to do with animals hands on!

went to camden on fri. 2 hrs train plus car. i jumped into the enclosure immediately after the demonstration of how to restrain a sheep, and enthusiastically ran towards the sheep flock. they ran everywhere! i caught one and guided it against the fence, held up it's neck so it cant move forward, twisted his head facing backwards, force it to 'sit' sidewards on its bum, and put one of its front leg behind one of urs. so basically, the sheep is relaxed yet not moving, so u can dance with it! procedure sounds hurtful to the sheep but its actually not painful at all. it's head is in between ur legs and u check its teeth, hooves, genitals. fun! learnt loads. and i actually volunteered to do drafting! i mean, i seldom volunteer cos shy. but i really wanted to try as much as possible. my ~passion~ for animals! so i separated the merinos from the 1st crosses as they ran thru the fences. so fast they ran! and i 'kiapped' a few of them as i tried to split them from each other but they had the heads on others' bums. haha!

sorry for the boring procedures. but i'd love to do it again. simply love animals.

it was tiring, chasing and forcing the sheep to sit. it stepped on my boots and it dented in. lol. need overalls but so ex cos next next week the cattle milking they say shit splashes everywhere and they shit all the time. but so ex. if only i in sg, then use emart online to order technician suit and steel capped boots. can utilise it and save $.

i was catching my breath and looked at the 'sianed diao' sheep in between my legs i restrained. and i felt sorry for it and i apologised and promised to be gentle. it couldn't really move though comfortably sitting down, and was also catching its breath. haha seems like the process was tiring for both of us! it looked at me with its huge eyes as i pulled down its lips to check teeth, and it looked so innocent and cute! i love the soft wool beneath all the dirt. and i told it, "i'm gonna have lamb chops." haha! so evil right!

we also got to hug baby lambs. aiyoh. really wanna work in the zoo leh.

guide and be guided

when u're lucky enough to be guided. u shud believe. and if not yet, believe and u'll be guided. spread the message. i'm lucky to be able to believe and be guided.

no ppl. u guys will NEVER defeat me again. i have been there and i'll never allow that to happen again. kiss my fat ass!

some time to bhb

my hair. i finally can show u! though it hardly looks like that now...too lazy to style. haha.



this is my fringe



the back.



me being really happy about it. haha



posing...



more posing... haha

ok. enough. hope u dun get disgusted k.

should i? would u?

actually the title was just to entice ppl. haha. dun get me wrong! i was just thinking whether i shud have a birthday party. i mean afterall. it's my big 21st which is supposedly the biggest one i wouls celebrate with all my friends and family. but i'm not. and i know i can never go back tot he day i turn 21. sigh. i wanna organise something nice.

u know wad i want to do on my birthday? have loads of fun for a long duration and meet up with all my friends. and it happens at different times so i get to talk to all my friends individually. and of course, i'll bring my fam out for a gorgeous night at some atas restuarant. i'll treat. cos it's the day my mum went thru pain to bring me to the world. i was thinking 100 per person. so i can finally go somewhere where i can love all the food i see on tv and have a atas life for a while. somewhere with desserts... the line at shang? or some chinese or japanese or tepanyaki? *drooling*

i was thinking about fake personalities the other day. not emoing, just thinking. i've been seriously thinking about my constant unhappiness. wad cheers me up? i need to do something about it. so i thought, and thought, and thought. and this is wad i came up with so far.

when i don't express myself fully, ppl seem to like me better. i tend to be more outspoken when i'm more fake. but ppl like that side of me cos i become more bubbly and fun to be with. so i become happier. but it's fake! so knowing that i'm not so true with myself, i become sad. haha, i know... so drama. so i return to my quiet self and ppl think i'm weird. so i'm now real but sad. y ah, y must be so like that?

i checked with a few frens to make sure i ain't being paranoid, and asked them about thier first impressions of me. and the ans are generally: i dun rmb. that's not bad, but not good either. not that i wanna be noticed. so tired of being in a dark cave where all u see is darkness or rock walls that creeps danger. ok. abit kua zhang. haha.

i haven't come out yet. cos not everyone may accept it for who i m. so i cannot totally involve myself. i constantly hold back ideas or words and give a neutral reply when i really just wanna be truthful and say was i think. the suppression of the true self is killing me.

once again, i'm living in singapore. being disillusional. seeing my friends over here when they obviuosly aren't. even those who i weren't close to i wanna meet. me ah... dunno wad i'm thinking. and missing out on all the 21st is real hard! i look at all the bdae parties and invitations and photos on fb and i always so wish i were there! sigh. wad can i do? so, u think i shud have my own celeb at the end of the yr to sub the one i didn't have on my actual bdae? will u come? then again... will anyone come?

y m i still here?

really miss singapore at point of writing. supposed to be focusing on finishing my report due tmw, but... well. overwhelmed by my want (or need) to go back. aiyoh. so hungry now. can i have changi's nasi lemak? tsk.

went out with kota last fri for jap karaoke. haha. interesting. i tired a few jap songs myself and decided i was more chinese.

need to look for budget accomm and food, and everything else.

more firsts...

i finally decided to cut my hair here. can't stand the grassyness. so it's the first time i cut hair in aus! along with it cam the wild decision that i wanted... i dyed my hair! first time too! it's nice! love it, something along chestnut brown. shall upload photo next time.

and first time cook for 11 ppl at 1 go. stress. they wanted to try my cooking so i stupidly agreed. i mean, 2-3 was fine, but 11?! so i wasn't successful in my cooking today, screwed up. mainly cos of me lah of cos. but chef otherwise, my equipment were lousy or inadequate, with ladles too small to reach the end of the pot to stir...etc. shall try again! korean chilli octopus or squid is my next attempt! so disappointing. the dish i cook today was usually good when it was for 2. today it looked totally different! must learn how to manage big amts! moving up to restaurant levels mah... must learn to cook in large quantities, with great quality. although they said it was quite nice. i know it's words of comfort. but i was just so angry i couldn't eat. why must it turn out that way? i put effort in lor... to go buy, carry all the way. so much ingredients. prepared for 2 hrs in the kitchen. to realise the final was crap. shall learn new dishes, and next time i'll cook for less ppl, or in portions. cooking all in one huge pot is hard to gauge factors!

anyway, no link to wad i said previously, random, but i made a new quote: Get real, Go fake.

I always knew why I wasn't well-liked...

sitting alone in a corner with my hands over my knees. would u pity me, or just look and not bother, or start thinking wad kind of weirdo is that? that is who u see me on the outside, and hence the 1st impression. many a time, i had to hold back my feelings or thoughts. cos i've not yet come out, and i couldn't just blab away my true self. but i get sick of myself. there's so much i wanna share.

inside me, the bubbly nature is held back, pressed back deep into me. as it tries to free itself, it hurts so much. i just wanna be me! cheerful, outgoing, fun to be with; and not boring, quiet and weird.

about any kind of relationship, it's like knocking two stones together. one knock, and u create a spark. a few more times, a small fire, but if too many times, u've created a fire too big it goes out of control, a fire disaster. just when u thought a little friction could provide some warmth, the spark causes a huge fire, one in which u cant subside. the fire brigade comes in and sprays it all down. and wad's left is rubble, though memories still live on.

not emoing, just thinking...

on another thought, why am i slacking so much! getting into vet sci is no easy feat. must focus! and i am sad that i'm missing out on too many 21sts! even my own!

Royal Easter show!

Carnivals, farms, theme parks, game stalls. a major event annually in sydney that is situated at the olympic park, where sydney hosted the olympics in 2000.

me and lin and sut went. it was hilarious, when me and lin started small at the swing, and boldly tired the mega throw machine that rotated to heights of i think... 100m? it was just so high up. experienced zero gravity continuously, while i screamed my lungs out... haha!

saw loads of aniamls, farm animals. competitions were going on for cattle, sheep, poultry, dogs, cats, horses. and i got to touch so many of them. the baby lambs were so petite and extremely shy! but they got all cuddly when u got near them. as i patted a dairy cow, i told myself no feelings were to be developed as i may have to drink it's milk and slaughter it for that fabulous steak one day. i told it, and it simply mooed. sigh... life of a cow.

went out for a movie at hoyts with kris and kota a few days back. my first movie in sydney! and it's ex. $14 with student concession. why?! i still wanna watch monster vs aliens 3D at imax. it has the world's largest screen, but it's $25... tsk. up by pixar is coming up, and harry potter fans... trailer is on! so some movies to look forward to!

Hunter Valley, Nelson Bay, Newcastle

these are the places i travelled to for the past 3 days. fun... and definitely lead an atas lifestyle! we rented and car and drove for 2 hrs up north sydnay. and i actually got to drive in the 3 days, travelling more than 100kph on aussie roads! *thrilled* but also quite dangerous, recounting the near death experiences along roundabouts. haha.

we had too much wine to drink, too much cheese and chocolates to eat (of which more than half i still couldn't name), too many beautiful skies, vineyards, sunrises/sunsets, beaches to soak in. too much to do (horse-riding, visiting wildlife reserves, vineyards and factories, star-gazing), sigh. too atas. life sucks! haha. this is to dig into those who're having their exams.

jealous? well. i was having my break, but now it's back to work.

Happy easter!

easter here means a week's break from sch. and of course, the resurrection of jesus christ our lord.

haha! i know a lot of uni students in sin are having exams! but we're having hols! yeah! anyway, i tried to go for a latin mass just now. it was fine, except... i didn't understand a thing the priest was saying and i just followed suit, kneel, stand, sit, kneel, stand ,sit. haha. quite funny. the prayers r in latin. as the name suggests, it shud all be in latin. so i sat back and tried to listen. and half way thru the mass did i realise he was speaking english! for the gospel only. but still, i was like lol. he went," so we can see mumermumermmejrhbwevcwjhvjwhc and today mnvbewhyrvchwevjhrvcjhevjhe, but for the lsjrbfiwebchwebvjwebhh." haha. ya i could only make out a few of the words he said.

on the way back, strangers wished me happy easter, so happy. i even got choc eggs! and i passed the bubble tea shop and couldn't resist so i bought a taro milk tea. oh my... so yummy!

went chinatown to stock up for the week again. so heavy lah, carry all by myself. walked there and back to save on transport costs. sigh, why so sad. and when i returned, guess who i saw sitting under my apartment at the fastfood outet oporto? weibin! my ex-pc studying in UQ. he drove down for hols during easter. so 巧！

yup, me driving down with a grp of frens up north sydney to hunter's valley for wine tasting in horse carriage then go watch whales maybe? atas hor. budget one lah. then going to royal easter show. so many things i wanna do! visit manly beach, imax, the zoos and aquariums. haha. but must rmb to do homewrk wor... and house work, that i seem to be the only one doing all for my room even though there's another. wanna move out. here too ex. and i wanna just take care of myself. sick of cleaning up after others, or cooking, washing, cleaning, not doing able to do things properly in the dark as another's sleeping. etc. i need my own room. haha. full of complaints hor...

ok. see ya!

boredom in my room

so many times i get bored. i mean, not that i wanna slack, but short breaks at the end of the day should be fine right. the thing is that the tv addict here has no tv to watch. got lah, but only angmoh shows, which r soooo boring. wanna watch videos also too ex due to internet restrictions. miss singaporean food, tv shows, taiwanese vareity progs... and bubble tea. they do sell it here but it's $4plus per cup... so tempted to buy as i walked pass the shop just now. one of the first thing to do when i return is to have taro/strawberry/choc snowshake or milktea! with many many pearls!

the thing with boredom is that even cooking has become my form of 'leisure'. and since i prepare my own meals, it's kinda the only part of the day i can relax. such ironies.

can't wait to meet up and get back my singaporean self. i'm so fake here with all the accents. have to cos they understand u better if u say it they way they do.

ok. till later! or how the aussies say it: " c ya lighda!"

stages

life is theatre. mine happens to be boring. i like it boring. but sparks once in a while won't kill...

stage 1: know someone new.
stage 2: like that someone.
stage 3: know that person better, and realises the person's perfect for u.
stage 4: fall in love... by this i mean one sided...
stage 5: confession.
stage 6: receive withdrawals. and u react by having withdrawals as well.
stage 7: heartbreaks. emoness. hate everything. jealousy steps in.
stage 8: delusional. imagines a perfect life if stage 5 hadn't happened, or if stage 6 didn't go the way it had.
stage 9 (after a long time): starts to recover from fact that it's never possible.
stage 10: goes back into delusional stage. does irrational things.
stage 11 (after a long loooong time): truly recovers with a tinch of lingering pain. warning: susceptible to return to stage 10.
stage 12 and then on: MOVE ON! be strong!

忍不住有想要爱你的冲动。。。

staring, not thinking.

i know i need to focus on my studies. and i m. so that's good. but these days, something else pops out other than equations or botanical names...(haha, we have to memorise botanical names for plants in agriculture. how lame esp when i signed up for animal science. so vet sci here i come!)

back to the topic... i was surfing and searching for an effective method of destroying Conyza bonariensis aka flaxleaf fleabane aka a kind of weed common in southern aus. (chim hor? ya. that's wad i'm doing... sianz)... when my mind blanked. partially due to tiredness after a whole day's worth of classes, and partially due to thoughts that shouldn't come. i don't need this kind of thought establishment cos with insensible thoughts comes worthless ideas that try to materialise. but then again, chances r minimal, almost zero. i just know it. it's a cycle. truths been told, and nothing came out sane. i'll never get a chance at this. but i'm not the kind who sits and waits, rather i would love to seek my own life, own happiness. so near yet so far... actually just beside me now.

another subject... i realised i gave too much credit to the angmohs, lacking the doubts or to believe they were still not that dumb. nono, nothing happened. just an observation made. but i guess generalisations dun come without evidence. the words 'dumb blonde' r pretty much accurate. they may be in uni but they find simple things "So~~~ hard!" ya... like totally. haha. can't help but laugh at them.

ok. see ya soon! erm... maybe not so soon lah huh? haha. love u all! miss u all SOOOOOOO much!!!!!!

3rd week's ending, and work's pilling...

i'm into my 3rd week of sch, and i've been more than amonth away from singapore. my longest ever, and making new records as the second hand ticks. it definitely seemed longer than that. and i miss Singapore so much. i knew i would feel all these even before accepting my offer to come here that was about a year ago. miss my fam, my frens, and my carefree life.

well, i would say i've more or less settled down and have adapted to sch life. just that it's pretty much of a routine. sch on week days, and grocery shopping at chinatown for groceries i need for the following week on weekends. haven't really got the time to travel, or visit areas other than the city. have been a student, not a tourist, and it's nothing wrong. just that i should know the place well before anyone visits so i can bring u guys around places tour agents dun. hmmm. busy though. really wanna tour a bit more.

see ya singapore! miss u so so so much!

sch started, but i'm still kinda lazy.

still can't confirm my future right now... with my current degree to become an animal scientist or biologist. uni life isn't as carefree as i thought it would be. less stress over here in syd? if that's true, i'd probably collapse in singapore uni. lessons start at 8 and some end at 5. seems more than wad i had. and, the notes they give aren't explanatory enough. guess texts r essential.... sigh$$$. the lecturers speak so quickly and u're supposed to like take notes at that speed...crazy lah. even angmohs also say fast. haha. and the assumed knowledge of HSC subjects, aka A levels, have long been forgotten since 2 yrs in army kinda made me. luckily i was kiasu enough to bring my notes over from jc to revise but haven't really done so. the angmohs here party everynight, and it's a nuisance when they start getting drunk and high outide ur room just as u're cramming or about to go the bed. hate angmohs.

shall try to get scholarship, and change my degree at the end of the year to vet sci. so i may be in syd for 6 yrs instead of 4. haha.

anyway, went for the largest annual gay and lesbain parade cum festival in the world last night, mardi gras 2009. smaller scale than i expected it to be. the revealing was rather expected, so were the stunts. the crowd was scary. too many ppl, shall go early next yr, if i'm still going that is. so many that we had to buy stools to stand on to watch. and those business man were really smart to make use of such a chance. $10 for 1 stool. haha. shall go sell them next year.

ok. see ya next time. sorry no pics here. cos i upload on facebook.

my new add in syd

Unilodge Apartment 1100
185-211 Broadway, Ultimo
NSW 2007
Australia

haha. that's it for now. till i move again... can write me stuff!

sch's starting tmw...

all that's happening

yup. haven uploaded photos from anywhwere to anywhere for a while, and not intending to do so cos of my limits in internet usage. need to use it for sch.

yup. when my fam was here, we went to chinatown, darling harbour, sydney bridge, opera house. pretty much the main attractions around sydney's city.

everything here costs much more than singapore. transport is crazy. taxi meter jumps per 4 seconds. so an hr's ride is approx AUD60. crazy? buses for a few stops is a few dollars, ad trains for a few stops can go more than 10. crazy? can't stand it. internet and phone has limits. if exceeded pay pay pay. shit. i hate this. who calculates all this when u're so used to unlimited in sing? as we complain of every rise of 10c in a bus ride. i wish i paid 20c more to use the services which are much less complex and way cheaper.

haha. bitch club here this: i went to k in chinatown! yup 10 for 3hrs. haha. even sydney also have k!

will be busy though i hope not. with, sch work, home work, house work... sigh. have to go far far places for pracs. lectures one after another all day but diff venues. quite far so gotta run. start 8am each day. some days end 5-6pm! so tiring. my course is killing me. dunno whether i'll truly enjoy uni life. and i haven't been exercising! ahhh. stressed even b4 term begins.

din bring my guitar here cos already overpacked. good thing a fellow singaporean brought. so i played it. brought m=back memories as i strummed familiar tunes. missed the times in camp where we played all day. miss ns ppl, like james and kf. miss one unique person. as i heard my friend, who is really good, play the guitar, i remembered the one who made my heart melt. it ached for the person once more. thought i would be too pre-occupied by all my busy-ness and heart filled with 舍不得s for my fam, that i wouldn't think of e. confirmed i was serious, not just desperate. and i remembered y i hurt for more than a year now.

ok. see ya!

life in syd so far...

Hi all! or should i say, Good die mite!

first i wanna apologise for not being able to update all this while. mainly cos i've got no internet set up till now. have been really busy, setting up stuff around here.

still unfamiliar, but adapting. felt really sad when fam went back to Singapore. feeling really alone. miss them so much. actually even before they left. or even before i came to syd.

next, really wanna thank u all for ur good wishes and blessings, esp those who came to see me off at the airport. thx xiao yi, bev and luc for coming down! and army frens! (bs, jer, hl, jam, kf, jx, lance, lk, ys, shasha, marcy though u weren't really actually there for me ha!) ex-cs zhuxi! (hao), 4j! (ami, xx). and big thx for the gifts! (bitch club gave me a super sweet self made photoframe with self-captured scenes of us! all e memories... and bs jer and hl for 'the gift' book, jam for ur long but really touching letter, kf too! and the chocs, yh gh for ur slips, xx for the gel that i couldn't bring on board. ha! and so much more. sorry if i left out any names!

hope all will do fine! meet up when i return, most prob at end of year unless i really miss u all and i drop in in july...

and an impt note! i can't be online as often or reply any mails cos of my expensive internet. too used to unlimited net surfing in singapore and then u realise how ex it is to use it here. cos they have limit on the band or something so u can't really surf or upload or download or watch stuff online as there'll be extra charges if u exceed the band usage of like 3GB per month. so my blog will become shorter and shorter. and more and more boring! cos less pic and stuff. not like it was very interesting to begin with.

ok. that's all for now and i'll see when i can tell u about life here in sydney and my trips with my fam and frens!

Oh my gosh!

no time to update. not even now. cos no internet set up yet. explain latewr. everything damn ex. super ex can. small small thing also must pay. very busy setting up everything. no line. no nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh! so stressed. now at internet cafe for emergency internet use. so ex. but no choice cos i still have no connection. shit. money running.

still haven thank all for sending me off at the airport. thank individually when i get back or next blog. now rushing. dunno wad i'm saying. ok thanks thanks. feeling so lost when my parents leave.

and ya. kf. wanted to celeb for ur 21stbirthday but can't. so irritating. shall repay u when u return i promise! here's first wishing u a Big Luxurious Greatface and bod and relationship and life plus plus plus for ur sweet 21st birthday! hugs! shall tell u more next time. can;t even msg u all or mail u a card. or a mirror i wanted to give u for ur birthday. haha. serious. from ikea. ok gtg.

signing off from sydney!

all the uncertainties...

met ex-cave staff for dinner on wed at white tangerine. then had so much fun at playground near cave. all childhood memories revived.

thurs met xx, lynn and yh for k. fun fun, esp when xx sang phantom. long time no see. good to catch up finally.

went out with cousins on fri. fun. never really went out for this long with them b4. went to cave at bq for drinks. thanks fion and evelyn for staff discount. then went topone for k till 6am. ha, k till so late again. seems like when i k, i never get tired. in between went starbucks, taglio, ah chiu desserts, mac. ha!

went to relative's place today for a buffet as a farewell for me. thx, really appreciate it!

going out everyday...

Chalet!

went for a 4d3n chalet at costa sands downtown from fri to mon. finally having one to ourselves after wanting it for so long. but too bad just wasn't there! did normal chalet things. plus wild wild wet. plus tanning for me. ha. love looking tanned. even went to meet seniors (yuex, milly, jiey, xues, vivian) to have dinner at tamp's swensons and celeb milly's birthday! haven't met for a few years so it was kinda exciting. then back to the chalet, and that was when the surpirse party came popping by! thx all (gh for booking at such a cheap rate; gh sh, yc for planning the surprise which really shocked me cos of the party poppers as we opened the door and didn't expect anything; yl, yh, sh, gh, yc for being there and having loads of fun together!) yc baked a cake! and decorated the room. and i got a personalised diary cum organiser. thx a lot yall!


us. with derek and lwl.


us. with just(the balloon, which got burst under gh's butt later on... haha!)


us. with seniors.

met li friends for dinner on mon at azabu sabo. 大kt, 小kt, yl, ql, br, hh. so so so long never meet le! but there was no awkwardness despite us not seeing each other for ages. guess we've had a common history and there were loads to catch up on. then camwhored in the middle of raffles city. ha!



met jo on tues. finally had a proper, unrushed gathering. watched bride wars, which was a pretty nice chick flick. then had lunch at billy bombers. thx jo so much for ur treat at bb! u tc too ya!




acting bride wars! jloe's kate hudson. i'm anna hatheway.

then met jiaxin, ben, lance, ys at topone bugis at night for k session. thx jiaxin for the k treat!



pg 被炸到。 变成马来妹！

haha. cos of the treats, didn't have to spend much on mon! haha!

ok. sorry my descriptions getting shorter and shorter, cos i'm rushing or time. going out again later. have been going out everyday and will still be till the day i fly, next mon. still haven pack! ahhhh! no time!

meeting cave staff later at white tangerine. and ya! i'm gonna take my pay at cave. cos they say i still have.

ok. i'll put on photos later. after i upload... haha!