currrently

as the long planned study trip draws near, so does the anxiety. can't help but feel excited yet at the same time masked by the anticipation of life over there. starting to feel scared, sometimes even thinking whether wad i've done is the right thing. since young, i've been a family person, so sticking and relying of course on my parents for almost all my needs. hence, leaving them seems too hard to bear. not to mention having no close friends there for support, to make me feel at home. no one to gossip with me for the starting days. hope i make many wonderful friends over there... at the same time, i've got to cope with the tremendous workload while adapting to the changes. i'm really starting to feel the withdrawal symtoms, though i'm now still at home with my fam.

selamat hari raya! and for the children, happy children's day!

F1 frenzy

hey all! F1 is here and bet those race fanatics are all geared up for the world's first night race right here in singapore! that's right, not only that, u'll get to see all those famous racers getting ready for the three day event. and i was so lucky to be a metre away from lewis hamilton and inches from nic rosberg and so many other racers all over the globe. *brag brag brag* haha i know... guess that's the closest i can get to them cos i was kinda professional security at that time of sweep. actually, they're kinda short in person but built. so exciting seeing all the action from the paddock and of course live on tv for those of u who r smart enough not to spend unnecessary money for a glimpse of blurred vision. haha. good for u!

watched vicky cristina barcelona on fri with sam and kf, and had astons and toast with jamie, weili. vcb was rather good. i didn't know wad to expect at first but came out of the cinema knowing y i was lured to it in the first place. it presents 2 friends seeking new life in barcelona when they ended up growing fond of new friends despite attachments back at home. they remain the same with their intentions strong in mind yet dealing with uncertainties as they return. well, the morale i get is that one should live for oneself without bothering how others label u as long as it's just and most importantly it provides your trailing happiness.

enjoy life ppl, and as wad they always say, never live your life with regrets, instead live it to the fullest!

so far so good.

can't really say i'm in such a bad situation now. i mean, i'm really considered fortunate to have so many good things and ppl around me. thank god for family and true great friends, who showed me all the support i need.

can't help one thing though. my attention seeking, self denying nature is getting on my nerves. i always thought the empty hole was my zeal for the uncanny resemblance of partnership, or probably just my desire to hold on. what wishful thinking. i'm so over this, or at least i finally have to. doing all this led to nowhere but misery and definitely more emoness. have i done the right thing to reveal or am i just a slut. haha. bet u guys agree on that. i need care and love ppl, that's why i'm doing wad i'm doing, to get myself out of this self-pitying state. how can alternatives bring the surfacing of true characteristics of me without compromising on great quality that i've been emphasizing on? should i give up, and even so will i? am i willing to? no, hurting myself seems ultimate pleasure to my sullen state. my mind (or my heart can't help it) nonetheless, i'm trying even if to no avail. heck it as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or myself. show me the love...

ok, sydney here i come! oh and before that...taiwan! haha.

Dental Surgery

haha! just had my dental surgery on tues. still recovering. quite a successful op. It was huge i tell u! Luckily i kept all my wisdom safe with me, so i'm pretty alright. ha. yup, and off the along with a free op comes a week worth's of break. good. it's long awaited and well-deserved. shall enjoy myself so very much! haha.

bought my new laptop!!! yeah! super nice k. HP Pavilion dv5-1034TX. sounds cool? definitely. with integrated webcam it shows you everything (me) , fingerprint recognition, 15.4" WXGA, nvidia geforce 9600 graphics, altec lansing in-built speakers, 4GB DDR2 ram, presentation pointers, tv tuners (which means i can watch tv on my laptop!), and so so much more! so happy! thanks dad! for those out there still requiring technology... it's ok, u'll get ur chance at sitex 08.

ok. stay happy.