Sunday, February 26, 2012

hello!

wow. the previous entry was july 2011. quite some time ago eh? well, this ain't a special blog entry. i'm just a teenie bored and decided to talk a bit (or a lot). haha! starting vet 3 sem 1 in a week. quite excited to get back to uni. just had 5 farm placements. 7 flights, 4 long train rides, multiple bus rides, and unlimited walks. flew from sg to perth on 24th jan 2012 and since then went to adelaide, mt gambier, melbourne, sydney, then melb again, then syd. fun i would say. and now for the 5 reports to write! ... ya, not that excited.

spent 2 months in sg. never long enough! miss my fam and frens and culture and life and everything back home! but wad to do... a vet's gotta do wad a vet's gotta do. haha. 离乡背井. didn't do much this hols. just wanted a good rest. met up with old frens, and met a few new ones as well. had a bit of fun. didn't go on a fam overseas trip this time round cos i was just too lazy to travel again after spending most of the yr being overseas. my excuse was that this hols was too short. yes, it was an excuse for being lazy really. the thought of packing and leaving my beloved hometown ain't the first thing that came to mind when a trip was to be planned. maybe this yr end i will go on a trip with my fam again.

ok, ttyl. tc. haha. :)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

conscience convo

me: will I always be this fat and ugly?
my conscience: no.
me: really?
my conscience: it will only get worse.
me: -.-ll

all my life, i have random conversations with my conscience. maybe only he (or she?) is tolerant of me and my nonsense. haha. it could be long or short, or plain lame. but necessary for my sanity.

me: when will i outgrow all of these?
my conscience: after puberty
me: wasn't that like eons ago?
my conscience: exactly. so it's only downhill from here.
me: -.-ll

well, to be fair to my conscience, he/she is usually not so pessimistic. we're all nice ppl. he could be really funny sometimes. i do think that he is one of those few that can really make me laugh. haha!

vet 2 sem 1 ended. results so-so but expected. will work harder next sem! i wanna grad already! seeing most of my friends graduating (constant updates from fb like pics/statuses, etc.), and all the grad ceremonies in sydney uni, really hope to grad soon. hols now with 1 week left. worked, and went out a couple of times. fun and relaxing. not too bad. will enjoy the most out of the rest of my hols! then vet 2 sem 2 begins. let's embark on the journey... or rather, endure and continue!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

bent candle

it was the first time i celebrated easter at st joan of arc, the parish i visit cos it's the closest to where i stay. at the beginning, everyone took a candle before they went into the church. so i did too. while everyone was picking out the nicest ones, i randomly picked up a remaining 'not-so-perfect-that-others-rejected' candle. a simple slender white one. the only flaw was that it was bent. only slightly though, so i took it without a care.

so the mass began. this mass was special cos it's easter, so it began with the lights off, and soon, the intense darkness was brightened up with all the candles in each person's hands. it was beautiful. as i passed on the flame (lighting up others' candles and they light up others' and so forth), i thought to myself. this candle is like me. though not pleasant looking and usually the last to get picked, i still light up the world for others.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

3 months came and went...

and i really miss it a lot! i always knew 3 months weren't long enough for me, especially to be with my family. but i'm glad this time round i chose not to work, otherwise the further lack of time for fun! so i managed to meet most ppl that i wanna meet and those that wanna meet me! xoxo. haha!

so starts the 乡思病, weeks before i even left home. knowing that this 'illness' will catch on even more as i fly over (i just arrived today), and spend most of the time alone pondering about family, and the fun times i had in Singapore (past and present). have been so busy having fun, meeting friends and going out so much that the blog has been ignored. but then again, it's usually the emo times that i update. damn. ok so i'll try to recall and set up a timeline of the activites i've done over the past 3 months! many of which would be left out though still significant.

27 nov 2010: flew home!
1 dec 2010: met james
3 dec 2010: sharing at dayi's place
4 dec 2010: strictly pancakes with chun, ling and hwee
5 dec 2010: sharing at my place. xx's house warming
6 dec 2010: met lili
7 dec 2010: kim gary and b&j at vivo with bqfs
13 dec 2010: JB with lance and jx
14-18 dec 2010: tonsilitis. :( had to cancel a few outings. e.g. photoshoot with san jiu mu @ the marina barrage, 1705 gathering, ex scg meeting. but still went for confession on 16th.
19 dec 2010: sydney ppl veg buffet and christmas gift exchange
21 dec 2010: mbs with jo
22 dec 2010: settler with lance, hh and jx. 贱好就收!哈哈!
23 dec 2010: kf
24 dec 2010: midnight mass for christmas
25 dec 2010: Christ is born! gathering @ san yi's place then k with sis
26 dec 2010: my mum's birthday!
27 dec 2010: JB with bitches
29 dec 2010: james
30 dec 2010 - 11 jan 2011: The U.S. with fam! L.A., San fran, Vegas, Grand canyon.
14 jan 2011: ling and tin @ nex
15 jan 2011: rocky horror show
17 jan 2011: dental. then TT's birthday @ watami raffles city
18 jan 2011: jo
20 jan 2011: JB with ling, tin and hao
21 jan 2011: teo heng with jam, kf, jj and cara
22 jan 2011: vet bbq
23 jan 2011: bitch re-union dinner @ jade restaurant fullerton
25 jan 2011: back spa
26 jan 2011: swim with dolphins and renee!
28 jan 2011: lunch with hwee, hong and hao. then dinner (san tou ka) with plt 5s.
29 jan 2011: er jiu house warming
30 jan 2011: SS3!
1 feb 2011: springfest at the esplanade with xx
2 feb 2011: reunion dinner ar ah ma's!
3 feb 2011: CNY day 1!
4-5 feb 2011: kukup with big fam!
8 feb 2011: fat bar with kf and cara
10 feb 2011: lili at timbre
11 feb 2011: teoheng with xx and girls. stayover at justin's.
13 feb 2011: marj's 21st
15 feb 2011: dinner and drinks with xx @ clarke quay
16 feb 2011: zoo with aaron
17 feb 2011: xx to 'you, me, HDB' and juls you jie. haha!
18 feb 2011: peperoni pizzeria with kf, jam and cara
19 feb 2011: da shi jie, settlers, nanxiang, and mbs with bitches
20 feb 2011: lunch with cousins. dinner with plt 5 @ crystal jade la mian xiao long bao buffet holland v
25 feb 2011: fly back to syd.

so... packed huh! really lots more but forgot when. in between, there're gyming and trying to look better. haha!

awww. i miss home.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

face it...

looks may not mean everything, but it takes up the majority of impressions formed. it stays that way, not because of materialism, or even the need to look presentable. there is scientific proof! it is based on evolution, and how the better genes are selected while unfavourable ones gradually eliminated. the choice for beauty and strength simply brings hope for the offspring and thus it's offspring and so on. this applies to the modern world, where looks carry out jobs for people. to make friends, to get into a position, to be waht you want to be, but WAY easier with good looks. the world from evolution forced us into vain pots, not that it compromises on brains for some of us! so in a way, we're allowed to say that it's in our genes to want to look good and also to look for people with good looks (to mate with, in an animal's pt of view). see, that's y we're attracted to handsome lads and pretty gals. it's only natural so don't feel like u're a judging person, or that u're being judged so often. with great looks, one need not put in any effort to get the job done, while the opposite can be devastating. luckily, looks are but 1 thing. we still have personality, talent/skills and values to bring us out!

unfortunately, i was never born with good looks. my skin is terrible, my structure is weird, and to top it off, fats. far from the model-looking me, i try to be someone i'm not. just to redeem myself, and to get more attention, or even to meet new people. friends who know me know i have a very strong inferiority complex, mainly derived from looks. through discrimination though, i realise that i can like myself for who i want to become. and to better cherish those ard me, for they are with me not because i fake friendship, nor was it looks that brought us to a common topic (if anything, it would deter them).

back to the topic of skin. u know how hard it is a struggle for me. i hate it when some random aunties come up to u and scrutinise ur face, then go, "aiyoh. u never wash face ah? tsk tsk tsk." then i awkardly smile and tell them of cos i do. i tell u, one more time it happens i'm so gonna stuff my 10+ bottles of expensive facial treatments, that i painstakingly travelled and queued from 6am to 10am to see the dermatologist, into their mouths! so much for not washing my face. hello?! i apply dunno how many layers twice a day, on top of washing, duh! tiring, but it does help so i'm glad. though my skin ain't as good as i want it to be, at least i feel more comfortable facing ppl now. and not try to hide my big pimply face. there has to be an evolutionary reason for y acne even occured. must have been to detox by pushing out of skin. but y those ppl who don't have this 'function' can live so well? they no toxins in their body ah? or they remove it in a better way? either way, they win this.

enough on this topic of looks. moving on to how i'm always under-appreciated. doing more and being proactive actually brought more harm than those who hecked it. unfair huh?! i do, they get. i help them, i get betrayed and they steal it from me. how is it u're unfree for work that i have to cover for u, and as a result i miss out on my opportunity. only to find that u were free but stole my opportunity from me? in simple words, i do a double job without pay, and she gets my paid job. and it isn't the 1st time already, that's y i'm angry. u know, sometimes i dunno y i put in so much effort. wad's the pt? they don't do anything but get rewarded. i do mine well and even theirs for them and i get punishment in return?

then again, the happy angelic me jumps out and ignores all previous words in this post. rather, appreciate what i have now and be happy. doesn't matter who it's for, always do the right thing. if there're consequences to bear, take it like a man. if not for anything else, at least it puts my mind at ease, for i know i've done the right thing. and never ask for anything in return, for only then can I receive eternal happiness. NO MORE EMO-NESS EVER! YAY!

love yall!

P.S. SHINee is my new fav! suju is resting. lol!

P.P.S. I'm coming back soon! 27 nov! await my arrival!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Like a deflated balloon...

then thrown on the wall over and over again. Finally, I get pierced on my sides so that I may never inflate again.

I hate emo-ing, but I can't help it. I try always to stand up, as I will now. But what to do. I can never be happy unless the world allows me to. Be positive hern!

Freedom from discomfort from AVA welfare's head point of view, wasn't exactly followed through was it? How contradictory. I'm not allowed to on my heater at night when i sleep? so i'm supposed to freeze to death? and how can you threaten to charge us for the running costs of your hospital? hey, you used most of it yourself. I hate unneccesary stress! to be constantly worried about things I was promised I didn't need to. like as if i dun already have enough on my hands.

my life isn't as good as i want it to be, but i'd always hope for the better. I must have been a really bad person my past life. i don't ask for much, do I? i lead a simple life going for all the simple things. i buy the cheapest housebrands, i dun go for high tech, i dun need luxury. just... my family and happiness.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Happy National Day!

went for sing soc's NDP celebration with live screening yesterday! i bought 2 lucky draw tickets, and got 1 more from a friend who left early. there were 12 goodie bags to be given out. out of at leats 70 ppl, i won all 3! wad were the odds. go out take until i shy lor! but i took 1 only lah. the others give others. but yay! i love fun packs!

so this yr, my 2nd yr in sydney. we too celeb ndp. to be able to watch it and u know how much i LOVE NDP! i love to be in every part of it. so watching ndp live on site is always to die for. ok. not that serious, but u get it. i used to ballot like crazy and join draws on newspaper and radio and news stations but always never got tickets through them! nvm, now that i won fun pack(s), i can also win tickets too! haha.

anyway, a random thought. whenevr i stand next to him, i feel so stressed. girls like him and thinks he's cute. and so it becomes the very scene of Hot vs Not. i'm Not, duh. eek. i feel like nothing.

my heart lies in Singapore, so much i think i should be a minister. seriously.