stages

life is theatre. mine happens to be boring. i like it boring. but sparks once in a while won't kill...

stage 1: know someone new.
stage 2: like that someone.
stage 3: know that person better, and realises the person's perfect for u.
stage 4: fall in love... by this i mean one sided...
stage 5: confession.
stage 6: receive withdrawals. and u react by having withdrawals as well.
stage 7: heartbreaks. emoness. hate everything. jealousy steps in.
stage 8: delusional. imagines a perfect life if stage 5 hadn't happened, or if stage 6 didn't go the way it had.
stage 9 (after a long time): starts to recover from fact that it's never possible.
stage 10: goes back into delusional stage. does irrational things.
stage 11 (after a long loooong time): truly recovers with a tinch of lingering pain. warning: susceptible to return to stage 10.
stage 12 and then on: MOVE ON! be strong!

忍不住有想要爱你的冲动。。。

staring, not thinking.

i know i need to focus on my studies. and i m. so that's good. but these days, something else pops out other than equations or botanical names...(haha, we have to memorise botanical names for plants in agriculture. how lame esp when i signed up for animal science. so vet sci here i come!)

back to the topic... i was surfing and searching for an effective method of destroying Conyza bonariensis aka flaxleaf fleabane aka a kind of weed common in southern aus. (chim hor? ya. that's wad i'm doing... sianz)... when my mind blanked. partially due to tiredness after a whole day's worth of classes, and partially due to thoughts that shouldn't come. i don't need this kind of thought establishment cos with insensible thoughts comes worthless ideas that try to materialise. but then again, chances r minimal, almost zero. i just know it. it's a cycle. truths been told, and nothing came out sane. i'll never get a chance at this. but i'm not the kind who sits and waits, rather i would love to seek my own life, own happiness. so near yet so far... actually just beside me now.

another subject... i realised i gave too much credit to the angmohs, lacking the doubts or to believe they were still not that dumb. nono, nothing happened. just an observation made. but i guess generalisations dun come without evidence. the words 'dumb blonde' r pretty much accurate. they may be in uni but they find simple things "So~~~ hard!" ya... like totally. haha. can't help but laugh at them.

ok. see ya soon! erm... maybe not so soon lah huh? haha. love u all! miss u all SOOOOOOO much!!!!!!

3rd week's ending, and work's pilling...

i'm into my 3rd week of sch, and i've been more than amonth away from singapore. my longest ever, and making new records as the second hand ticks. it definitely seemed longer than that. and i miss Singapore so much. i knew i would feel all these even before accepting my offer to come here that was about a year ago. miss my fam, my frens, and my carefree life.

well, i would say i've more or less settled down and have adapted to sch life. just that it's pretty much of a routine. sch on week days, and grocery shopping at chinatown for groceries i need for the following week on weekends. haven't really got the time to travel, or visit areas other than the city. have been a student, not a tourist, and it's nothing wrong. just that i should know the place well before anyone visits so i can bring u guys around places tour agents dun. hmmm. busy though. really wanna tour a bit more.

see ya singapore! miss u so so so much!

sch started, but i'm still kinda lazy.

still can't confirm my future right now... with my current degree to become an animal scientist or biologist. uni life isn't as carefree as i thought it would be. less stress over here in syd? if that's true, i'd probably collapse in singapore uni. lessons start at 8 and some end at 5. seems more than wad i had. and, the notes they give aren't explanatory enough. guess texts r essential.... sigh$$$. the lecturers speak so quickly and u're supposed to like take notes at that speed...crazy lah. even angmohs also say fast. haha. and the assumed knowledge of HSC subjects, aka A levels, have long been forgotten since 2 yrs in army kinda made me. luckily i was kiasu enough to bring my notes over from jc to revise but haven't really done so. the angmohs here party everynight, and it's a nuisance when they start getting drunk and high outide ur room just as u're cramming or about to go the bed. hate angmohs.

shall try to get scholarship, and change my degree at the end of the year to vet sci. so i may be in syd for 6 yrs instead of 4. haha.

anyway, went for the largest annual gay and lesbain parade cum festival in the world last night, mardi gras 2009. smaller scale than i expected it to be. the revealing was rather expected, so were the stunts. the crowd was scary. too many ppl, shall go early next yr, if i'm still going that is. so many that we had to buy stools to stand on to watch. and those business man were really smart to make use of such a chance. $10 for 1 stool. haha. shall go sell them next year.

ok. see ya next time. sorry no pics here. cos i upload on facebook.

my new add in syd

Unilodge Apartment 1100
185-211 Broadway, Ultimo
NSW 2007
Australia

haha. that's it for now. till i move again... can write me stuff!

sch's starting tmw...