ok weird...

i know it's gonna be really dumb saying this, esp for most still in service, but i dun wanna ord so soon...

being so sure i wanted to leave the service as soon as i stepped foot on tekong, i'm not so anymore. although i wouldn't wanna go through the entire experience again, i know what's pulling me back to ns.

i've learnt so much in camp. not so much on character or discipline or whatever shit they say they will instill in you, but more of social responsibilities and self-portrayal. somewhat how u would react to in a worklife situation. i mean, these are probably neccesities one should already have had while undergoing the grinding by society, but somehow the naive me only realised harsh facts that really bothered me when i came to army. and i can safely say it's the company (ppl, not o or b) that really influenced me. i mean, i'm still me, no doubt, the fun-loving stupid child. but i've seen ppl change in front of me and it tempted me to betray myself so many times to convert my face but then i stood my ground, thanks to many supportive friends. though the nasty vibe of many others haven't seem to fade away, i'll try to forget.

other then this ugly side of ns that i've learnt of, there are plenty of great, fun, silly memories i'm definitely going to keep.

the best of course, is friendship. the strong bonds forged when we experience the same toughness of life and start bitching on others. haha. that's gotta happen sometime in your lifetime. thanks guys, once again for helping me pass my harshest moments. and i know i've never really been the best friend around for u as well. hopefully u'll forgive my bluntness and annoyance!

and of course, the part of me that wants to stay is the lazy part. we have gone through all thick and thin and now is the time when we relax before we ord. so practically, we do nothing but eat sleep, and exercise once in a while. u get so much free time, u can play, read up, write, instrument, etc. we're really in a stress free mode now (definitely not complaining!) where we keep ourselves fit and healthy, and build up talents! originally, it's ccc (civilian conversion course, as they call it), that preps u or at least gives u a break before steeping back into real life again. but somehow, i've gotten used to the slacking, and i dun really feel like moving. face it, u're doing nothing but enjoying yourself everyday and u even get to go out and play each night (nights out), while earning a steady and stable income despite this period of recession and global economic downturn! i mean, who wouldn't want this? i dun really wanna be thrown out there again to be tortured by society, and of course, with an empty wallet and stomach. can't shop anymore... ahhhh!!! ok... i know, i'm running away, but wouldn't u, if u knew wad u're about to face?

sigh ppl. enjoy ur life now. before it ends... muahahahahaha!!!