looks may not mean everything, but it takes up the majority of impressions formed. it stays that way, not because of materialism, or even the need to look presentable. there is scientific proof! it is based on evolution, and how the better genes are selected while unfavourable ones gradually eliminated. the choice for beauty and strength simply brings hope for the offspring and thus it's offspring and so on. this applies to the modern world, where looks carry out jobs for people. to make friends, to get into a position, to be waht you want to be, but WAY easier with good looks. the world from evolution forced us into vain pots, not that it compromises on brains for some of us! so in a way, we're allowed to say that it's in our genes to want to look good and also to look for people with good looks (to mate with, in an animal's pt of view). see, that's y we're attracted to handsome lads and pretty gals. it's only natural so don't feel like u're a judging person, or that u're being judged so often. with great looks, one need not put in any effort to get the job done, while the opposite can be devastating. luckily, looks are but 1 thing. we still have personality, talent/skills and values to bring us out!
unfortunately, i was never born with good looks. my skin is terrible, my structure is weird, and to top it off, fats. far from the model-looking me, i try to be someone i'm not. just to redeem myself, and to get more attention, or even to meet new people. friends who know me know i have a very strong inferiority complex, mainly derived from looks. through discrimination though, i realise that i can like myself for who i want to become. and to better cherish those ard me, for they are with me not because i fake friendship, nor was it looks that brought us to a common topic (if anything, it would deter them).
back to the topic of skin. u know how hard it is a struggle for me. i hate it when some random aunties come up to u and scrutinise ur face, then go, "aiyoh. u never wash face ah? tsk tsk tsk." then i awkardly smile and tell them of cos i do. i tell u, one more time it happens i'm so gonna stuff my 10+ bottles of expensive facial treatments, that i painstakingly travelled and queued from 6am to 10am to see the dermatologist, into their mouths! so much for not washing my face. hello?! i apply dunno how many layers twice a day, on top of washing, duh! tiring, but it does help so i'm glad. though my skin ain't as good as i want it to be, at least i feel more comfortable facing ppl now. and not try to hide my big pimply face. there has to be an evolutionary reason for y acne even occured. must have been to detox by pushing out of skin. but y those ppl who don't have this 'function' can live so well? they no toxins in their body ah? or they remove it in a better way? either way, they win this.
enough on this topic of looks. moving on to how i'm always under-appreciated. doing more and being proactive actually brought more harm than those who hecked it. unfair huh?! i do, they get. i help them, i get betrayed and they steal it from me. how is it u're unfree for work that i have to cover for u, and as a result i miss out on my opportunity. only to find that u were free but stole my opportunity from me? in simple words, i do a double job without pay, and she gets my paid job. and it isn't the 1st time already, that's y i'm angry. u know, sometimes i dunno y i put in so much effort. wad's the pt? they don't do anything but get rewarded. i do mine well and even theirs for them and i get punishment in return?
then again, the happy angelic me jumps out and ignores all previous words in this post. rather, appreciate what i have now and be happy. doesn't matter who it's for, always do the right thing. if there're consequences to bear, take it like a man. if not for anything else, at least it puts my mind at ease, for i know i've done the right thing. and never ask for anything in return, for only then can I receive eternal happiness. NO MORE EMO-NESS EVER! YAY!
love yall!
P.S. SHINee is my new fav! suju is resting. lol!
P.P.S. I'm coming back soon! 27 nov! await my arrival!
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