my life as it is

conscience convo

2011-07-17T22:49:00.002+08:00

me: will I always be this fat and ugly?
my conscience: no.
me: really?
my conscience: it will only get worse.
me: -.-ll

all my life, i have random conversations with my conscience. maybe only he (or she?) is tolerant of me and my nonsense. haha. it could be long or short, or plain lame. but necessary for my sanity.

me: when will i outgrow all of these?
my conscience: after puberty
me: wasn't that like eons ago?
my conscience: exactly. so it's only downhill from here.
me: -.-ll

well, to be fair to my conscience, he/she is usually not so pessimistic. we're all nice ppl. he could be really funny sometimes. i do think that he is one of those few that can really make me laugh. haha!

vet 2 sem 1 ended. results so-so but expected. will work harder next sem! i wanna grad already! seeing most of my friends graduating (constant updates from fb like pics/statuses, etc.), and all the grad ceremonies in sydney uni, really hope to grad soon. hols now with 1 week left. worked, and went out a couple of times. fun and relaxing. not too bad. will enjoy the most out of the rest of my hols! then vet 2 sem 2 begins. let's embark on the journey... or rather, endure and continue!

bent candle

2011-04-23T22:27:00.003+08:00

it was the first time i celebrated easter at st joan of arc, the parish i visit cos it's the closest to where i stay. at the beginning, everyone took a candle before they went into the church. so i did too. while everyone was picking out the nicest ones, i randomly picked up a remaining 'not-so-perfect-that-others-rejected' candle. a simple slender white one. the only flaw was that it was bent. only slightly though, so i took it without a care.

so the mass began. this mass was special cos it's easter, so it began with the lights off, and soon, the intense darkness was brightened up with all the candles in each person's hands. it was beautiful. as i passed on the flame (lighting up others' candles and they light up others' and so forth), i thought to myself. this candle is like me. though not pleasant looking and usually the last to get picked, i still light up the world for others.

3 months came and went...

2011-02-26T16:51:00.003+08:00

and i really miss it a lot! i always knew 3 months weren't long enough for me, especially to be with my family. but i'm glad this time round i chose not to work, otherwise the further lack of time for fun! so i managed to meet most ppl that i wanna meet and those that wanna meet me! xoxo. haha!

so starts the 乡思病, weeks before i even left home. knowing that this 'illness' will catch on even more as i fly over (i just arrived today), and spend most of the time alone pondering about family, and the fun times i had in Singapore (past and present). have been so busy having fun, meeting friends and going out so much that the blog has been ignored. but then again, it's usually the emo times that i update. damn. ok so i'll try to recall and set up a timeline of the activites i've done over the past 3 months! many of which would be left out though still significant.

27 nov 2010: flew home!
1 dec 2010: met james
3 dec 2010: sharing at dayi's place
4 dec 2010: strictly pancakes with chun, ling and hwee
5 dec 2010: sharing at my place. xx's house warming
6 dec 2010: met lili
7 dec 2010: kim gary and b&j at vivo with bqfs
13 dec 2010: JB with lance and jx
14-18 dec 2010: tonsilitis. :( had to cancel a few outings. e.g. photoshoot with san jiu mu @ the marina barrage, 1705 gathering, ex scg meeting. but still went for confession on 16th.
19 dec 2010: sydney ppl veg buffet and christmas gift exchange
21 dec 2010: mbs with jo
22 dec 2010: settler with lance, hh and jx. 贱好就收！哈哈！
23 dec 2010: kf
24 dec 2010: midnight mass for christmas
25 dec 2010: Christ is born! gathering @ san yi's place then k with sis
26 dec 2010: my mum's birthday!
27 dec 2010: JB with bitches
29 dec 2010: james
30 dec 2010 - 11 jan 2011: The U.S. with fam! L.A., San fran, Vegas, Grand canyon.
14 jan 2011: ling and tin @ nex
15 jan 2011: rocky horror show
17 jan 2011: dental. then TT's birthday @ watami raffles city
18 jan 2011: jo
20 jan 2011: JB with ling, tin and hao
21 jan 2011: teo heng with jam, kf, jj and cara
22 jan 2011: vet bbq
23 jan 2011: bitch re-union dinner @ jade restaurant fullerton
25 jan 2011: back spa
26 jan 2011: swim with dolphins and renee!
28 jan 2011: lunch with hwee, hong and hao. then dinner (san tou ka) with plt 5s.
29 jan 2011: er jiu house warming
30 jan 2011: SS3!
1 feb 2011: springfest at the esplanade with xx
2 feb 2011: reunion dinner ar ah ma's!
3 feb 2011: CNY day 1!
4-5 feb 2011: kukup with big fam!
8 feb 2011: fat bar with kf and cara
10 feb 2011: lili at timbre
11 feb 2011: teoheng with xx and girls. stayover at justin's.
13 feb 2011: marj's 21st
15 feb 2011: dinner and drinks with xx @ clarke quay
16 feb 2011: zoo with aaron
17 feb 2011: xx to 'you, me, HDB' and juls you jie. haha!
18 feb 2011: peperoni pizzeria with kf, jam and cara
19 feb 2011: da shi jie, settlers, nanxiang, and mbs with bitches
20 feb 2011: lunch with cousins. dinner with plt 5 @ crystal jade la mian xiao long bao buffet holland v
25 feb 2011: fly back to syd.

so... packed huh! really lots more but forgot when. in between, there're gyming and trying to look better. haha!

awww. i miss home.

face it...

2010-09-19T14:44:00.003+08:00

looks may not mean everything, but it takes up the majority of impressions formed. it stays that way, not because of materialism, or even the need to look presentable. there is scientific proof! it is based on evolution, and how the better genes are selected while unfavourable ones gradually eliminated. the choice for beauty and strength simply brings hope for the offspring and thus it's offspring and so on. this applies to the modern world, where looks carry out jobs for people. to make friends, to get into a position, to be waht you want to be, but WAY easier with good looks. the world from evolution forced us into vain pots, not that it compromises on brains for some of us! so in a way, we're allowed to say that it's in our genes to want to look good and also to look for people with good looks (to mate with, in an animal's pt of view). see, that's y we're attracted to handsome lads and pretty gals. it's only natural so don't feel like u're a judging person, or that u're being judged so often. with great looks, one need not put in any effort to get the job done, while the opposite can be devastating. luckily, looks are but 1 thing. we still have personality, talent/skills and values to bring us out!

unfortunately, i was never born with good looks. my skin is terrible, my structure is weird, and to top it off, fats. far from the model-looking me, i try to be someone i'm not. just to redeem myself, and to get more attention, or even to meet new people. friends who know me know i have a very strong inferiority complex, mainly derived from looks. through discrimination though, i realise that i can like myself for who i want to become. and to better cherish those ard me, for they are with me not because i fake friendship, nor was it looks that brought us to a common topic (if anything, it would deter them).

back to the topic of skin. u know how hard it is a struggle for me. i hate it when some random aunties come up to u and scrutinise ur face, then go, "aiyoh. u never wash face ah? tsk tsk tsk." then i awkardly smile and tell them of cos i do. i tell u, one more time it happens i'm so gonna stuff my 10+ bottles of expensive facial treatments, that i painstakingly travelled and queued from 6am to 10am to see the dermatologist, into their mouths! so much for not washing my face. hello?! i apply dunno how many layers twice a day, on top of washing, duh! tiring, but it does help so i'm glad. though my skin ain't as good as i want it to be, at least i feel more comfortable facing ppl now. and not try to hide my big pimply face. there has to be an evolutionary reason for y acne even occured. must have been to detox by pushing out of skin. but y those ppl who don't have this 'function' can live so well? they no toxins in their body ah? or they remove it in a better way? either way, they win this.

enough on this topic of looks. moving on to how i'm always under-appreciated. doing more and being proactive actually brought more harm than those who hecked it. unfair huh?! i do, they get. i help them, i get betrayed and they steal it from me. how is it u're unfree for work that i have to cover for u, and as a result i miss out on my opportunity. only to find that u were free but stole my opportunity from me? in simple words, i do a double job without pay, and she gets my paid job. and it isn't the 1st time already, that's y i'm angry. u know, sometimes i dunno y i put in so much effort. wad's the pt? they don't do anything but get rewarded. i do mine well and even theirs for them and i get punishment in return?

then again, the happy angelic me jumps out and ignores all previous words in this post. rather, appreciate what i have now and be happy. doesn't matter who it's for, always do the right thing. if there're consequences to bear, take it like a man. if not for anything else, at least it puts my mind at ease, for i know i've done the right thing. and never ask for anything in return, for only then can I receive eternal happiness. NO MORE EMO-NESS EVER! YAY!

love yall!

P.S. SHINee is my new fav! suju is resting. lol!

P.P.S. I'm coming back soon! 27 nov! await my arrival!

Like a deflated balloon...

2010-09-15T14:49:00.002+08:00

then thrown on the wall over and over again. Finally, I get pierced on my sides so that I may never inflate again.

I hate emo-ing, but I can't help it. I try always to stand up, as I will now. But what to do. I can never be happy unless the world allows me to. Be positive hern!

Freedom from discomfort from AVA welfare's head point of view, wasn't exactly followed through was it? How contradictory. I'm not allowed to on my heater at night when i sleep? so i'm supposed to freeze to death? and how can you threaten to charge us for the running costs of your hospital? hey, you used most of it yourself. I hate unneccesary stress! to be constantly worried about things I was promised I didn't need to. like as if i dun already have enough on my hands.

my life isn't as good as i want it to be, but i'd always hope for the better. I must have been a really bad person my past life. i don't ask for much, do I? i lead a simple life going for all the simple things. i buy the cheapest housebrands, i dun go for high tech, i dun need luxury. just... my family and happiness.

Happy National Day!

2010-08-10T18:30:00.002+08:00

went for sing soc's NDP celebration with live screening yesterday! i bought 2 lucky draw tickets, and got 1 more from a friend who left early. there were 12 goodie bags to be given out. out of at leats 70 ppl, i won all 3! wad were the odds. go out take until i shy lor! but i took 1 only lah. the others give others. but yay! i love fun packs!

so this yr, my 2nd yr in sydney. we too celeb ndp. to be able to watch it and u know how much i LOVE NDP! i love to be in every part of it. so watching ndp live on site is always to die for. ok. not that serious, but u get it. i used to ballot like crazy and join draws on newspaper and radio and news stations but always never got tickets through them! nvm, now that i won fun pack(s), i can also win tickets too! haha.

anyway, a random thought. whenevr i stand next to him, i feel so stressed. girls like him and thinks he's cute. and so it becomes the very scene of Hot vs Not. i'm Not, duh. eek. i feel like nothing.

my heart lies in Singapore, so much i think i should be a minister. seriously.

Sujulicious...

2010-07-09T00:19:00.005+08:00

I just coined this word. don't you think it sounds like 'so delicious'? either way, that's what i meant! lol!

*Suju's 4th album on loop all the time, including now! it's playing miina now! yeow! time to bounce!*

I've also been into SNSD and CNBLUE recently. knowing snsd from gee till today, they're not to bad to watch! quite a funny bunch! taehyeon is kinda natural and cute! as for cnblue, i got to know them through their mv 'love love love'. cool. then i got introduced to the variety programme "We got married", featuring seohyun (from snsd) and yonghwa (from cnblue), where they slowly get to know each other and eventually lead a mock wedded life. it is fun to watch and i know people melt so many times for either of them are nomu aegyo/kayopta! and i know why yonghwa is such a fav now! finished all 12 episodes in 1 day! and waiting for more to be uploaded as they're being released.

haha. i still dunno if i should stop the k wave from hitting me. it is getting stronger. but that also means that i 'waste' more time on them, thinking about them. my life revolves around them somewhat now, even before i sleep! horrible. for now still ok cos it's hols. but when term starts i gotta control!

annionghigaseyo!

i need inspiration, i need spontaneity, i need stimulation.

2010-07-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

I say 안녕하새, you say 요! 안녕하새, 요! 안녕하새, 요!

2010-07-04T22:52:00.003+08:00

The K wave hit me hard, or rather Super Junior has managed to charm me to follow them, not just for a song or two, but for almost everything of theirs. I do feel ashamed at times bouncing along to SuJu hits, but then again, it is such fun! even shamelessly saying, i feel like a part of them. the secret side of me that wishes so much to be an artiste, having so much fun performing, singing, acting, dancing, hosting...

well, as i float along the k wave, my friend's k wave joined with mine and it resulted in a cascade down a rapid. (geog students, this is called a tributary. right or not ah? eh, i only did p geog till sec 2 ok...) it's like white water rafting but without the raft. lol! so you can imagine, we got really wet! basically, without the metophors, i was saying that my friend and i both found out we like suju and thus the blast of liking them even more due to the friendship that binded all of this tgt. yes, i do admit, i do feel like a girl esp when watching them. then again, i do feel like a girl all the time. haha!

i was considering resisting the waves but, you know, they ain't so famous for nothing, so i decided to go with the flow, but just enough not to get to the waterfall.

yes, it's the hols for me! so yes i am happy. i should be happy. y shouldn't I? but the thing is, i don't really feel the hols, and i know why.

firstly, I don't have many close friends in sydney, for the reasons i mentioned before such as to focus on studies. so i'm glad i did. but that also meant that i may not lead such a happy social life for uni, which is sad! most of my friends here have returned to sg for the hols (so envious), while others take their breaks by going on trips around Aus.

as for me, i've been working at the clinic once in a while. the rest of my time, i sleep, watch suju's game shows, drama, movie, interviews, live performances, mvs, dances, dance covers, song covers, guitar/piano covers, personal bibliographies, almost everything about suju u can find on youtube basically. i refresh the page everyday to find new things about them to watch by placing my search under 'most viewed' or 'latest uploads'. am i a fan or what? that's why i say i do feel embarassed. afterall, i'm no longer a young teenage girl. then again, i know it doesn't matter. so Suju: Aja Aja Hwaiting!

and i've also decided to improve on my korean, haha. yes, because of suju as well. glad that i learnt korean during ns via my friend/son, ham, and that i started learning at that time not because of anything else but due to a pure interest in the language. i do like learning new languages. i wanna be a language master! the thing is, i always mix up jap with korean. being better at jap, when i try to speak korean, it mixes with jap sentences or words to cover for my lack of korean vocabulary. and it sounds right and wrong at the same time!

thanks to my dearest 7! for ur love! i feel it! so happy when i got ur package (which didn't have my name on it btw!) and to jam too, for ur short but sweet post!

till later! love you!

exams!

2010-06-03T17:59:00.001+08:00

in 2 weeks!

I will Jia You!

Love yall, herny!

tomorrow...

2010-05-26T15:14:00.002+08:00

is my 22nd birthday. really glad so many of you remembered and wished me way before the day itself! haha! thank fb too, cos that's where many ppl got that, and where i get reminded of urs too! oops. haha!

u know, i missed my 22nd in sg, along with many of those fine moments of others' that i couldn't attend. the sadder fact is i will have to miss all of those for another 5 yrs. most of them that is. well, for myself, i don't have that many friends here in sydney. reasons being, i don't really wanna make so many friends cos i've basically outgrown the age where i need many friends for reassurance. those few of u that matters is more than enough! *HUGS* another reason being i don't go out often and don't meet many new faces, so that i can focus more on studies. u know. friends most of the time = go out = not studying. lol! i do sound like a mugger, my goal to be one in fact!

i'm doing horses tmw. so that's a bonus. sounds wrong. haha! ok, i'm going to camden for horse pracs tmw. fun! but it may rain so i need to get my rain gear. then at night, if there's anyone to accompany me (i seriously doubt so), i may attend a party for 4th yrs at camden tmw. but most likely, i'd be alone in the vet clinic apt at night, using fb and dwelling into my own world of chinese pop.

that said, i do secretly want a blast. i've never had that. alternatively, some peace and quiet. so extreme! haha.

some of u asked me wad i'm gonna do for my birthday. i have no idea. main reason being i'm in sydney with no friends or family here with me. i'd call my family definitely, though i'm pretty sure they'll call me to wish me first. my mum actually already did in advance. lol! then also, i have to plans to celebrate it alone. i may do so and go sing some k. wad i really miss doing. and alone in the room, i shall sing wen lan's zhu wo sheng ri kuai le, then blow the candle flame off the cake i bought for myself. and emo for a while, and sing more k. just enoguh so that the hrs aren't too long, cos it's ex to sing k here, and i have to travel back to my apt. h... seems like i've had it planned out afterall! lol. but nah... it's too pathetic to do that.

finally, i just want it to be a good day. nice and all. thanks to ur wishes again!

hern

Don't you dare...

2010-05-26T15:12:00.002+08:00

don't u dare go off and "ok, ok" me! i was helping you! fine. u wanna rot in ur world, i'll let u. i should have long ago but haven't. and i know that after this i'd still help u when u need it, or for that matter, don't need it.

all's well now!

2010-05-17T21:59:00.001+08:00

yay for that! Thank God! i'm adapting well and things are getting better!

thanks for all ur concerns! i really appreciate it!

i just realised my previous post's title a bit no link. lol!

see ya later!

fb

2010-05-12T15:36:00.004+08:00

ahh... my internet is horrible again now at haberfield. just keeps dc-ing every 2 minutes. how disruptive is that?! so irritating. can't do work, can't relax online...tsk!

and i'm so hard up on money now. but also not as though i was never. lol. well, i always check my acc on my phone line. it's a new line that i signed for a yr. double-checked and triple checked that it was a good deal compared to my previous one so i decided to sign up for it. so angry. i got cheated AGAIN! argh! my fault for not checking the call rates. it runs super fast. my international call are ex. but i found out that even if i made local calls, it would have been more expensive than international! weird. stupid aus! ok. so i figured i'd save more with this plan, right? so it's the 1st month and my bill not here yet. previously with optus, i can check my balance or spend immediately after call to make sure i don't go over my limit/cap. for 3, total spend only updated every night. fine. so i still check every night. so i found that i still have $30 worth of credits for the rest of the month. ok wad hor? then the following day, i made some calls. decent and controlled. but the next day i got a shock in the morn when i checked again. i went over by almost $40. so i spent $70 in one day?! damn! how is that?! i'm not the call/msg a lot type. i've never went over my phone/internet limit before in my life. i've been so cautious. why did this still happen. totally upset with the system. but i'm still on contract for 1 yr. damn. so i called them to clarify, even went down to the conuters to ask. nothing. they couldn't tell me anything. dunno dunno dunno. thanks. ok. so i'll do it myself, but how? i added this $5 thing to my bill now. so that i can have an extra 100 mins for international call. i need it to call my fam once in a while. i don't do it often, 2-3 times a month maybe. but still dunno y my bill went crazy. sigh. will live!

in a nutshell, i just moved to an old lousy place where i must get many things again. spent a lot. transport, food, stuff. and i gotta work for rent. phone and internet down. really hope it gets resolved soon. tried many things. i tot it may be distance, so i moved my lappy next to the modem to see. eh... if i move closer to the modem i dc less. but still, it dcs! how ah? anyone can help me? now i have to do everything in sch. tsk. dunno whether it was right to move. tot i could save but now i have spent more than i expected. plus i'm still paying rent for my old place till end of may. worth it? hope so. save me pls.

i love you, u love me? life is unfair. i know.

trivia:
A: you do happen to know that the hours clocked on facebook is not counted to your final grade right?
B: huh? really ah?

I'm moving again!

2010-05-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

this time to a vet hospital further away from sch. but it's for experience, and i work for my rent.

so here's my new add:

Haberfield Veterinary Hospital
55 Ramsay St (Corner of Marion St)
Haberfield NSW 2045

ok. see yall!

homemade.

2010-05-03T14:19:00.002+08:00

how thought-provoking, as i walked along my uni and this suddenly came up. out of nowhere!

why are we attracted to homemade things, which some commercial producers unscrupulously fake, such that we would prefer theirs to the 'real' commercial ones. by this, i am referring to food. how cny goodies boast to be homemade. just what is the definition of homemade, and why are we more attracted to them then the commercial ones.

the idea of having a 'healthier' choice since it's made by fellow consumers just like us, we assume what comes in an innocent tuperware or tin is yummy yet good for us. so homemade = healthier? like less sugar/oil? nah! homemade can be even more sinful, cos we seldom eat them. it's a once in a while indulgence. so yups, an accidental block of butter falls into the homemade batter. lol.

what really draws us to it then? my guess, which i believe many will agree with me, would be love, the feeling of home. when we see the word 'homemade', we recollect wonderful times with friends and family; memories of how food draws us together. indeed. it is those moments that we seek, and that subconsciously satisfying thought of home when we eat it.

home, is where the heart belongs. (this is were i start to sing tanya's home.) boy, i do miss home.

just got cheated... again

2010-04-30T15:28:00.004+08:00

but there are good times, and even better ones ahead, waiting for me!

just a few random qoutes here:

1) there're good news and bad news. the good news is, there is no bad news. -.-
2) If it won't, it hasn't. If it will, has it? If it hasn't, will it? If it has, it has.
3) 皆、미인나. Everybody's beautiful.

system restore saved me once again!

2010-04-25T21:07:00.003+08:00

though i really dun hope to need it again. what an adrenaline rush! wow. i'm super awake now.

thanks yongsheng for ur reminder. totally freaked out and forgot abt system restore.

ok. back to work, and 933! my secret link back into my world of chinese music. 最新歌曲九连环，不受干扰九三三！

加油！恒仔！

a teenee weenee bit of my life, a bit of easter

2010-04-15T14:43:00.003+08:00

does it look like i'm advertising for the water? lol! i didn't pose for this ok! really! i didn't even know this was taken until i saw my firends album! lol. this was at cradle mountain in Tasmania.

i love animals. this was a really empty rural zone and a grp of goats with 1 sheep was at a backyard of somebody's house. no one was seen for miles. so i decided to walk towards them for a closer look. then they started to walk towards me too! and mehhhed!!! (the sounds they make) lol! one even got a zao sia meh. like : meheh... lol! i laughed at it for a while and felt sorry.
it was just a stopover/restpoint after a long drive. but this happened to be one of the main highlights of my road trip. i just love animals.

i feared touching them at first. with their strong horns i could be crushed easily. but their constant mehing soothed me and somehow i always have this connection with animals. they constantly reassured me that it was ok for me to approach. at first, i tot that they were probably bored cos no one bothered to look at them for maybe a few months?! but gradually i understood. they needed companionship, a human friend! i mean, having to work with farm animals for a yr now. i know that most would run away upon seeing ppl. it would be unusual for them to leave their herd and walk towards a human (cos they think u many eat them. seriously! they're prey in the wild, so it's instinct). but so many times, they approach me and let me pat them, like a dog. i feel so honoured. they're doing this for me. thank you animals. i love you.

have u heard about my dorry story? haha. if not nvm i'll update u abt it later.

mehh!

studies getting really stressful with the amt to absorb each day. with every click of the slide, comes a whole new page of terms to memorise. i tell u. i will finish the entire vet dictionary of 999999999999 new words by the end of my course! ah. medicine is tough. but i will endure on for the sake of animals! so much to study!

and for now... i need to go to the market to buy ingredients to cook dinner tonight for my housemates. bye!

to market...to market... to buy some fish... la la la la la *skips away happily, until he sees someone approaching and has to act 'normal' again. back to manly life. when will my reflection show show who i am inside~ and when can i be myself?*

so few, so slow...

2010-04-10T14:35:00.002+08:00

my posts that is. i've either been too busy or too lazy to blog anymore. just like to read others'. but when i try, it's either too crappy, or too insignificant. with more and more friends closing down their blogs. maybe i should too, in a matter of time. i mean, i don't want blogging to end up being a chore. even as an avenue to vent my frustrations would mean that it is left as words online. a blog is for myself, as well as others close to me to know me better. i wouldn't want them to know anything gloomy happening in my life. cos i'm supposed to be the 'happy' person. things to hide... no more. time to shine... YES!

just came back from tasmania. nice place but wont be going back a second time. updates and photos on fb. with the 'ease' of fb, i guess that's one of the reasons why we blog less nowadays, other than outgrowing the need to blog or the want to write about our lives, or the unneccesities that come with postings. so hard to write something good on blogs nowadays!

oh man. really miss drama and music and theatre and all that media glory. need to get to that soon! and vet sch as well, definitely. getting tougher no doubt. and my studying is still too slow. i know... *slaps self*

love animals, love music.

you know why you're here

2010-03-13T15:09:00.005+08:00

you always wanted to do this, and now that you're doing it, i want you to give it not just a shot, but your best, your very best.

it's 3rd week of sch, and i'm slacking way too much while others in my course read textbooks as bedtime stories. prepping! i need to lock myself in the library from now on!

studies aside, not that i'm supposed to (but guilty that i'm not too much into it either, it must change now!), some young pretty angmoh waitress was talking to my girlfrens and myself. then when she took a photo of us tgt, she complimented all of us. she said we all look really pretty, and turned to me and said to me. you especially. i was the only guy there, the thorn amongst the roses. but i'm not doubting her words, neither was she joking. I AM PRETTY, IN EVERY WAY! haha.

and lately, actually from sg, i started to like super junior m. didn't know i would ever like them, but i guess han geng and siwon, maybe henry too, are really idol quality. and i kinda like the first 2, like quite alot. haha. no, this is not allowed. back to reality, and sch! which i must do well in. jiayou! and FOCUS! hocus pocus...lol!

ok, back to bones and joints and muscles, and many more to come. yay!

time to start again!

2010-02-23T11:38:00.002+08:00

and with this statement i hope to rejuvenate myself! studies before play! at least that's wad i'm telling myself and trying to do. look at me thinking this and yet having facebook on most of the time. major distraction!

ok. successfully enrolled in vet yesterday! thank GOD! and maybe able to apply for credits for animal husbandry, and if successful = save $$$ = save time to study for other subjects = YAY!

sch starts next week and this is my first entry upon arriving back in syd. miss home lah. as usual. time to do my own housework, get irritated with somethings, and cook! less internet usage allowed so no more vids... :( but! i'd entertain myself with books, vet books. mmmhmmm! yum slurps. haha!

haven't really told u abt my summer hols in sg. but it's a long one. so i'd just leave it to myself. lol. just can say. it was tiring even though i wanted it to be a relaxing one. having gotten myself into volunteering at jbp vet hosp, and then vietnam trip with my fam. fun but nonetheless, draining. and the constant sch admins, scholarship applications. ok but seriously, i need the scholarship! pray that i get it! PLS PLS PLEASE!!!!!!!!

ok, back to work,...........................or maybe a bit of fb first. haha.

love yall!

so fast, so sad

2010-02-08T23:07:00.002+08:00

haha. such a cheesy title. yet so true depicting my feelings.

u know, it's the time again when my long summer hols in sg is coming to an end. 3 months was never long for me, and in 2 weeks it's back to syd and sch for me. at least it's vet, the only console. haha. ok. but really loved my hols. shall update more on my activities!

love, jord. :)

Hectic exam week... and finally, time to rest, and go home.

2009-11-18T14:22:00.002+08:00

Yay! 2 weeks of exams and previous studying has finally ended, leading into the new times of home and rest. i'd be back this sunday! 22 Nov. woopie! see ya all soon!

all the food, friends, family, fun!

Forbidden Love

2009-11-01T20:13:00.005+08:00

Why must a relationship be seen normal, then again, wad's normal? the perception given to us since young, or how the media portrays it? or u just feel it is right for it to be a certain way, to be normal. think again, wad's the truth? the truth is simply something everyone agrees on. but it changes when somebody comes out with a better hypothesis.

anyway, i watch 盛夏光年 a couple of weeks ago and it still lingers. and i just watched love of siam. similar concept, but both were great. good enough to make me ponder over them for days. 十七岁的天空 wasn't my cup of tea. it was funny but nonetheless trashy. 盛夏光年 and love of siam both talks about forbidden love, which therefore states in the title. and it really pricks those who can really relate to it, and i'm talking about myself. haha. and even if it doesn't appeal to u or make u melt, it would at least make u wonder about the true definition of love between two ppl. any two ppl. does it matter if you are a guy, or a girl? my heart tells me, it doesn't matter at all. ignore the gender differences, and look at the genuinity and simplicity of the relationship, just how they care so much for each other. it is too beautiful.

i just hope that one day, the world will accept 'the abnormality', and see beyond male or female, good or bad. and realise what is love, true love.

Wicked

2009-10-31T11:31:00.003+08:00

Upon many recommendations and reviews, i heeded my theatrical needs and went ahead with the musical, despite the utterly heavy price that came with it. nonetheless, worth it. great set, fantastic cast, lovely songs, wonderful musical. now i recommend it to you. probably the first and last musical i'll watch in sydney, cos it's simply too exorbitant for me to pursue. then again, good shows that i really wanna catch but wont be going to sg soon will still be considered. afterall, i wanna catch at least one performance at the overrated opera house! wicked was at a smaller capitol theatre. guess wad, programmes went for AUD 20 per booklet. crazy or wad? we even stayed back to see if anyone didn't want theirs anymore, so that we could... u know... take it? haha. but i guess a $20 programme is just too expensive to throw.

exams in a week and i'm getting worried. worried at myself still being so slack! i haven really started my revision, but look around me! even some angmohs started! argh. have to start work NOW.

anyway, can't wait for exams to end. cos i'd be going back home after that! yeah! flying back on the 22 Nov. can't wait to see me right... haha.

also, i got a piece of wonderful news that made me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAAPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! shall tell u again when it's confirmed! till later!

my blog getting boringer hor?

2009-10-06T19:16:00.023+08:00

so... to start it off. show u a pic of myself in canberra, which i went during my mid-sem break.

went to canberra for a few days, where it rained non-stop and never got above 10 degrees C. went to the zoo, parliament house, floriade (a flower fest with mainly tulips). then drove up to wollongong, passingby goulborn, and kiama. hands frozen to the point of pain so often that taking photos was so torturous.

floriade 2009

emo spots... eerie. black lanterns?!

parliament house

national zoo

rare white lions. not albino! but recessive allele caused this. same as the white tigers in sg zoo.

and this is nara the cheetah. how do i know? cos we wanted to take a pic of it and it was so far! so being sian about it, we looked around and there was a sign that told us its name. so i shouted "Nara!" and it came trotting happily to us! so cute!

merino@goulborn

blowhole and lighthouse@Kiama

my yummy T-bone steak

ok. that's just the road trip. shall tell u more about my life next time! haha. so bhb, then again. it's my blog mah. lol. ok tc yall!

looking back

2009-09-17T21:48:00.003+08:00

as i left the gate of 39, i couldn't help myself but look back. cos there's where all the memories were made. i looked at my photos and thanked myself for being such a cam-whore. for it captured moments that illustrated memories in me, deep down. i always know y i liked ns. it was cos of the friends i made in it. thanks guys...

a quickie.

2009-09-16T14:12:00.003+08:00

a wild, animalistic, playful activity.

i meant a fast update. i know wad u were thinking of... *slap*!

in sch now. just had this really fun animal handling class! i played with ferrets, mice, rabbits, chickens, snakes! fun fun!

ok. back to my pile of work. reports... essays... tuts... quizzes... wad not.

see ya soon!

updates

2009-09-11T22:12:00.002+08:00

ok. this entry is gonna be boring cos no issues. haha

anyway, previous weeks were fun at camden with more animal handling. cows, sheep (i miss dorry!), pigs, poultry, fish. haha. and more to come! furs and feathers~

and sch work is piling up like crazy. so many reports due soon and tests coming up, etc. i wanna go home soon to play!

ok. that's all for now! tc yall!

just some recent updates.

2009-08-15T09:39:00.003+08:00

other than sch, which by now most of u know isn't as easy as it seems(cos for most of u, uni has started.), here are some of the non-mundane stuff.

on National Day, Singapore's one that is. 9 August 2009, i joined a run called city2surf sydney, an annual large scale major event in syd. i signed up last sem, and paid for the marathon thinking it would be a normal one. it turned out, to be... a normal one. haha! except for the fact that it broke the world's record of being the largest scale for that yr with most runners! a wholly 75000 ppl!

check out my goosebumps! it was like 5 degrees C and i only wore a t-shirt with fbts.
so it was, a run, which i signed up under a grp called, Sg Nat Day run team. so for once, i represented sg in a sport event overseas! Go team Singapore! haha. anyway. amongst those cam-whoring of the beautiful beaches and scenery along the way( from start point hyde park to end point, bondi beach. 14 km in total). it was really relaxing and entertaining to see the bands along the way and some nonsense ppl doing their nonsense stuff.

so i completed the run in 1.38hrs. slow but considered good since i've not been running, and was taking pics and vids of everything as i ran. i mean, afterall, it's my first run overseas. wanted to join the harbour bridge run in sept. 42 scenic marathon. but guess wad. it's 200 dollars. that just turned me off.

anway, we had a little celeb at our place as we streamed NDP live from our laptop and plugged it in to the tv. luckily never lag. so 19 ppl squeeze in my small and humble living room, and we cheered and screamed and sang along with all the nostalgia. ppl brought flags and i held on to one throughout the whole thing, waving non-stop.

something funny: we were all so excited wacthing channel 5 on aussie tv. and even the commercials were so good. guess we are all so home sick!

so, laksa was prepared and we had a great night, though its the first time i din watch ndp in sg. cos usually i kill to get tics to watch it live, or at least in the comfort of my home. for many, they say they've never been so patriotic before. haha. as for me, i've always been so patriotic, seriously.

ok. then some sch stuff. i was with pigs last week, and this week cattle. so handling piglets, so cute! and restraining the super strong holstien dairies or milking them. so fun. next week sheep, then poultry and fish. for bio, i dissected locust, squid, bivalve (a kind of clam... or ...si harm~ lol), and next week rats!

also, Wicked the musical is finally coming to sydney! so critically acclaimed winning so many awards, and i will watch it! a must! it wont go to sg and since i'm here... hahah! i always sigh when i see the large banner saying "broadway coming to you as close as melbourne" and i would think wad the.... i mean sydney has more ppl and the opera house for crying out loud! and after giving up sighing for the whole of last sem, they suddenly announced that they decided to close melb on nat day! then move to syd next month! i heard the london cast was better though. well, i'd have to make do with the aussie cast. closest i can get to. at least i get to watch wicked! but sadly it's not at opera house but capitol theatre. y?! nvm, i will still try to catch smth at the opera house. haha!

sze's coming later from melb so meeting her for dinner! and musuem later! buffet! tuts... reports...

mom's coming! quick! can't wait to see her though i'd expect withdrawal symptoms again...

ok update again next time.

take care and tok to me! rmb i do love u all!

I know I'd be a great husband...

2009-07-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

... if only i could...

summary

2009-07-24T19:09:00.000+08:00

Just a short summary of my activities in sg for the past month! I had so much fun! Thanks for meeting up with me!

29 June: Reach airport, met Jam and kf. Thanks for picking me up! Chatted a while at coffee club T3. My parents came! Went home for delicious dinner!

30: durian with jam and kf

1 July: ran with jam around his place. So tiring after not running for 4 mths! clubbing with xx and her spring scholarship frens at phuture. But didn’t get to club though paid. Haha. If u don’t know y read past entries

2: kiwi promotion at Carrefour suntec

3: bitch club for nyonya dinner buffet at bugis

4: Jam, white tangerine

5: dinner at amk seafood place for chilli crabs, oat prawns, yam rimg ++, with fam and popo.

6: met xx and her expected surprise at $10 club ktv with Sheryl and yenling

7: at home!

8: O.T.O.T at drama centre with junyi, sam, li, gy. Then deserts at 阿秋 desserts at liang siah st with jam too.

9: met jloe for carl’s junior, bowling, river cruise, astons, churros.

10: met yl, sh, jus, gh, yh for dinner at a vegetarian place near bugis. Then to iluma for crepes.

11: family gathering at xiao yi’s house

12: tcc with jloe, Alison, cali, izhar, khai

13: botanical gardens with jam and kf (saw cynthia koh 许美珍)， then hard rock café, then goodwoodpark hotel for durian cakes (saw elvin ng), then with calvin to far east for ham’s bdae prez.

14: jam, li, kf at timbre arthouse. Our first official time with 53A duo! Support them every tues there! Sara and Alvin rock!

15: job briefing at Queensway for heaven and earth jasmine green tea. Great taste never lies… ha! Then with kf, jam, joseph, franz to ikea. Then to cine for ice-age 3 3D!

16: Malaysia JB at citiplaza with bitch club. Ben, pg, sha sha and ys. K buffet dinner at neway and shopped all over the mall!

17: heaven and earth at raffles place. Took pic with pierre png. Then went to ham’s grandma house for his 21st! then jam, kf, and calvin to the ice bar at boat quay.

18: at home!

19: lunch at hog’s breath café with fam

20: maple clinic. Then with kf to tampines 1 and tm for ajisen ramen and then Harry potter 6. Disappointing though. Jamming with jam at night

21: k at liang court party world, with geok, gene, benny, shichun, jam, jianyang. Then to timbre arthouse again! To support 53A Duo. Kf joined us.

22: packing. 日全食. Then met jam, kf and li for durians, and jamming. Then jus and gh and sh came over to my place. Wanted to have fun but really not in the mood so they left early though they were prepared to go to the airport in the morn for me. Thanks and sorry!

23: Back to Sydney… sobs 

my new add

2009-07-24T14:55:00.002+08:00

46/13-17 Greek Street
Glebe NSW 2037

46 is the unit, which is on level 5. 13-17 is the part of the street, greek st. glebe is the suburb. NSW is New South Wales, which is the state, and 2037 is the postal code.

take care!

As soon as i came, i had to go back.

2009-07-24T14:26:00.003+08:00

I'm really saddened by the fact that my hols in sg were so short. 3 weeks is indeed too short for me! although i've met quite a few, and only those who really meant as friends! haha, but still it didn't feel enough. it was as though i just left and i had to return to this place, where there is nothing but studying, expensive everything. the first was the internet that i had to get used to again. internet back home was a just spam and leave it on thing, view wad u want fast. but here, sigh. back to uploading pics in sch... lame.

so sudden that i had to catch the flight back. i haven spent enough time with my family, cos i was out everyday, and is rather guilty of it. but i just wanted to meet up as much as i could and soak in the atmosphere. i feel like crying, cos i dun wake up in my comfort home and bed anymore, and see my mum as she tells me wad breakfast there is to eat. so relaxed. now, everything by oneself. i'm spoilt, so i'd rather have things my way.

well, it's a study hard from now on. high distinctions await my grasp, and vet science is at my door!

Thanks once again to all who met me before i left. and all throughout the whole 3 weeks to make time for me. i really really really appreciate it!

Tell me

2009-07-18T03:38:00.002+08:00

wad shud i do. at the age of 21 and i'm still struggling with human relationships. i need to learn how to handle all my relationships better, be it for friends or for family. wad's wrong with me?

anyway, i have had too much fun in sg over the past week i really dun wan the departure to come! shall update my fun and exciting adventures another time!

to all concerned, give me some time to learn to be a better brother, a better son, a better friend, a better me.

Once a Singaporean, Always a Singaporean.

2009-07-10T00:22:00.006+08:00

If there's anything new to learn from my experience in studying in sydney, is that i can love my country more than i already do! i mean, i am patriotic in many ways, not just wanting to watch ndp live. in many aspects, Singapore to me is the best country in the world. dunno if lky has been trying to psycho us but it's definitely working on me! i simly love Singapore more than ever now!

We r singapore, singaporeans~

ok. after meeting with xx for that crazy k session, met lili, jy, sam, gy for a play at nat lib drama centre. Own Time Own Target. it was great! i loved it. definitely not the best play but a really funny one in a long time!

the cast of terence tay, nelson chia, and the funny malay and hokkien beng was super hilarious! the 1st act on msk, office politics. the 2nd i prefer. esp with all the marching songs, drills, sop, tekan sessions. really nostalgic! but my fav part would be on the secret of england boy by terence tay. he's singing imporved since sg idol i think. anyway,the way it was portrayed was reflective. and even before he revealed, i kinda knew cos ppl like us feel the same way. yet being perceived as another kind and unacceptence by other is a constant worry. yet u ccan do nothing abt it! oh... the songs he sang, i wanna hear it again! every word so true and close to heart! i was nodding the whole way as he sang. haha! and felt relieved for him when he got the support he needed. the understanding from friends. and that's y i appreciate all of u who understand my plight and i sincerely thank each of u for being there for me! (if u have watched it... cheer up buddy, pls dun cry, cheer up buddy pls dun sigh~)

i went out with jloe today for bowling. having lost touched, he was rather good! and he won the 1st 2 rounds. then we decided on a 3rd game that i won! wahaha! highest score. yeah! haha. u must have regretted suggesting the 3rd round! and i only upload the one i won! yay. not fantastic but still... me 122. jloe. 71. haha.

dun ask me y i 'dou ji yan'. we suddenly both happened to be!

then he came up with this brilliant idea, to visit Singapore in a way, we haven't for ages. guess wad, river cruising! we were like tourists but who cares. i need to learn more abt my own country anyway. do u know enough to be questioned by a tourist? haha!

along, the merlion, pass the esplanade and the floating platform and the undergoing constructions of marina sands, the fullerton, cbd, and clarke quay. the old boats were such a nice way to resee Singapore. on water! oh. so much fun. and when u put 2 cam whores together, the cam can't rest. and indeed, the batt died towards the end! haha!

first few days back

2009-07-04T18:28:00.006+08:00

so to continue. i went on to carrefour suntec and became a kiwi mascot!

kinda fun to be ableto dance in public without feeling shy. and ppl punched me, touched me, molested me... haha. the kids were cute. and i keep forgetting that i dun need to smile when i took photos. ha!

then went out with bitch club yest, all except sha sha. and we had nonya buffet near bugis! sedap! upload pics next time on fb or here. with the infamous babi ponteh, ahar, ayam buah keluah, penang laksa, lontong, rojak, and all the kueh kueh. it was shiok to feast after so long not having to taste them! nice overall, but ambience and variety lacked. but with all the 拜托s and 就是讲s. we all had a good laugh. and jx's 饭后余兴节目. haha! ben cried laughing. lol.

咱们赶快去大马血拼了拉！

on the way back, saw gene and geoks. haha. see if we shall meet again ya?

Oh yeah! i'm baaacckkk!

2009-07-02T11:33:00.002+08:00

finally. i stepped foot on the tiny island, where i have kept all my fond memories. ahhh. wad a wonderful feeling to finally be back home!

though the last days in sydney was kinda touristy, i really wasn't more excited than to fly back to where i belong. my first time flying alone!

thx to my dearest jam and kf who came to fetch me at the airport. and my family!

had durians with jam and kf after so long without having them. it's the season! and tis the season to be jolly, falalalala lalalala. haha. wrong not christmas. but i'd be back then too!

clubbed with xx, or rather, i only got to the toilet. then cabbed back. xx... u know wad u shud do huh! wasted $ cos i didnt get to even step into phuture nor the club. just the toilet where i waited and watched strangers wobble and puke. seeing them wasted, esp the girls, makes me pity them. like y u allow urself to be in such a state and how do u protect urself from clubbing perverts?

ok. gonna be a kiwi later! hope it's fun!

Can't wait!

2009-06-09T17:46:00.002+08:00

it has been confirmed! unless something happens... choi choi! i'd be back in sg by night of 29 june! so so excited! never been this excited when i'm returning to my own country! can't wait for so many things! fam, frens, food... ahhhh! everything! ppl! we MUST meet up k! cos i've only got a short 3 weeks in sg. then i've gotta return to sydney for my 2nd sem.

AHHH! can't wait. as for now, i seriously need to study hard for my exams which is in a few days! after which, i'll move house, then... fly back! this time for real!

See ya soon! for real too!

Ideal together?

2009-06-05T20:38:00.003+08:00

i always knew i shud have given up. i have, but... i know that i shouldn't put my heart and time into something i know for sure isnt gonna happen. but i just cant help it. the more i think, the more i fell the ideal nature of having each others' company. seeing others together is the time when the sadness sinks in the most, biting u from the core. i wan it so bad but the real pull is when i know its never possible for me. i try to be optimistic bout it. but seriously, wad r the chances... have just been a few hrs apart and i'm like that already...

on a lighter note, ORD loh! eh? nono, wrong event... haha. i meant, Last day of sch! but dun start all celebrations just yet, cos the thing is... exams in a week! sigh. more studying. i need full marks and i will work for it! *determined look* haha.

today, was at camden. milked cows! dairy- Holstein frester breed? oh no. forget le. need to re-memorise. and they shit and pissed everywhere! but that will never stop me from trying! cos i love animals too much! and we also went down to the calves area. they were so cute! i held out my hand for them to suckle! so sweet! my whole hand was literally inside its mouth. haha. a lot of saliva though. mooo! pics shall be uploaded in a few days. sorry! haha.

agent called us and we got the apartment! yeah! shall sign the papers and pay the bond and rent soon! before it 'flies' away! yeah... and u know wad that means?! i may be able to come back in my jul hols after all! cos my housing was my worry. if i left without a place to put all my stuff safely and have no place to stay when i return, i cant leave till i settle it. and now that it's nearly settled... my hands r reaching to the air ticket counters! wait for me!

see ya soon! i hope!

it finally came and went like a breeze

2009-05-28T13:50:00.002+08:00

My 21st birthdya in Sydney... small scaled but better than i expected, since i thought i'd be having no one to celebrate with!

it started with the surprise the day b4 my bdae. my fam ordered a cake online and the bakery sent it to my place. and when i was asked by reception to collect, i was greeted by balloons and a gorgeous cake! i'll show u the pic some day. looks good, tastes great! thx sis! u know my taste well.

for dinner, the girls and justin cooked a western dish for me! pan-seared fish with sauted veg and mash. yum. they wanted to treat to to a meal and relive my cooking duties for a day. but i can't stop cooking. so i added 2 dishes, calamari and hot pepper soup. ham: go chu jang cho a he yo! then at night, we had a mini celebration in my room with the grp of unilodge sg frens. ate cake sing song, chatted. thx for the usyd jacket!

the next day, after sch (at 5PM!), ko chan and me went for karaoke at chinatown. sing until no voice. singing skills deprove like crazy. ko chan sings well, all in jap though. haha. then we went for a jap dinner in QVB. oh. the pork ramen was so good! the soup is sweet. the meat so tender chopsticks could easily pull them apart. then we headed to the point for light drinks. cheap booze... after that, we went back for him to try my cake. and we finished to whole thing. haha. actually only left 2 slices lah. then, we walked to the bus stop. as he boarded the bus and it drove away, the clock from unilodge clock tower struck 12, and i turned back into a toad. nono. that's not how it ends. i went back to my room. thx ta, for spending my bdae with me!

I want to thank all who wished me thru all ur interesting and sweet ways. i know it's hard to get me when i'm overseas! thx for ur cards, wishes, texts, calls! and the bdae song vid from jgyys! so gan donged when i open the attachment!

love yall! zhu wo sheng ri kuai le...(wen lan)

sheep restraining

2009-05-24T01:26:00.003+08:00

loved it! finally something to do with animals hands on!

went to camden on fri. 2 hrs train plus car. i jumped into the enclosure immediately after the demonstration of how to restrain a sheep, and enthusiastically ran towards the sheep flock. they ran everywhere! i caught one and guided it against the fence, held up it's neck so it cant move forward, twisted his head facing backwards, force it to 'sit' sidewards on its bum, and put one of its front leg behind one of urs. so basically, the sheep is relaxed yet not moving, so u can dance with it! procedure sounds hurtful to the sheep but its actually not painful at all. it's head is in between ur legs and u check its teeth, hooves, genitals. fun! learnt loads. and i actually volunteered to do drafting! i mean, i seldom volunteer cos shy. but i really wanted to try as much as possible. my ~passion~ for animals! so i separated the merinos from the 1st crosses as they ran thru the fences. so fast they ran! and i 'kiapped' a few of them as i tried to split them from each other but they had the heads on others' bums. haha!

sorry for the boring procedures. but i'd love to do it again. simply love animals.

it was tiring, chasing and forcing the sheep to sit. it stepped on my boots and it dented in. lol. need overalls but so ex cos next next week the cattle milking they say shit splashes everywhere and they shit all the time. but so ex. if only i in sg, then use emart online to order technician suit and steel capped boots. can utilise it and save $.

i was catching my breath and looked at the 'sianed diao' sheep in between my legs i restrained. and i felt sorry for it and i apologised and promised to be gentle. it couldn't really move though comfortably sitting down, and was also catching its breath. haha seems like the process was tiring for both of us! it looked at me with its huge eyes as i pulled down its lips to check teeth, and it looked so innocent and cute! i love the soft wool beneath all the dirt. and i told it, "i'm gonna have lamb chops." haha! so evil right!

we also got to hug baby lambs. aiyoh. really wanna work in the zoo leh.

guide and be guided

2009-05-21T22:24:00.002+08:00

when u're lucky enough to be guided. u shud believe. and if not yet, believe and u'll be guided. spread the message. i'm lucky to be able to believe and be guided.

no ppl. u guys will NEVER defeat me again. i have been there and i'll never allow that to happen again. kiss my fat ass!

some time to bhb

2009-05-11T13:53:00.005+08:00

my hair. i finally can show u! though it hardly looks like that now...too lazy to style. haha.

this is my fringe

the back.

me being really happy about it. haha

posing...

more posing... haha

ok. enough. hope u dun get disgusted k.

should i? would u?

2009-05-10T00:51:00.002+08:00

actually the title was just to entice ppl. haha. dun get me wrong! i was just thinking whether i shud have a birthday party. i mean afterall. it's my big 21st which is supposedly the biggest one i wouls celebrate with all my friends and family. but i'm not. and i know i can never go back tot he day i turn 21. sigh. i wanna organise something nice.

u know wad i want to do on my birthday? have loads of fun for a long duration and meet up with all my friends. and it happens at different times so i get to talk to all my friends individually. and of course, i'll bring my fam out for a gorgeous night at some atas restuarant. i'll treat. cos it's the day my mum went thru pain to bring me to the world. i was thinking 100 per person. so i can finally go somewhere where i can love all the food i see on tv and have a atas life for a while. somewhere with desserts... the line at shang? or some chinese or japanese or tepanyaki? *drooling*

i was thinking about fake personalities the other day. not emoing, just thinking. i've been seriously thinking about my constant unhappiness. wad cheers me up? i need to do something about it. so i thought, and thought, and thought. and this is wad i came up with so far.

when i don't express myself fully, ppl seem to like me better. i tend to be more outspoken when i'm more fake. but ppl like that side of me cos i become more bubbly and fun to be with. so i become happier. but it's fake! so knowing that i'm not so true with myself, i become sad. haha, i know... so drama. so i return to my quiet self and ppl think i'm weird. so i'm now real but sad. y ah, y must be so like that?

i checked with a few frens to make sure i ain't being paranoid, and asked them about thier first impressions of me. and the ans are generally: i dun rmb. that's not bad, but not good either. not that i wanna be noticed. so tired of being in a dark cave where all u see is darkness or rock walls that creeps danger. ok. abit kua zhang. haha.

i haven't come out yet. cos not everyone may accept it for who i m. so i cannot totally involve myself. i constantly hold back ideas or words and give a neutral reply when i really just wanna be truthful and say was i think. the suppression of the true self is killing me.

once again, i'm living in singapore. being disillusional. seeing my friends over here when they obviuosly aren't. even those who i weren't close to i wanna meet. me ah... dunno wad i'm thinking. and missing out on all the 21st is real hard! i look at all the bdae parties and invitations and photos on fb and i always so wish i were there! sigh. wad can i do? so, u think i shud have my own celeb at the end of the yr to sub the one i didn't have on my actual bdae? will u come? then again... will anyone come?

y m i still here?

2009-05-06T18:11:00.002+08:00

really miss singapore at point of writing. supposed to be focusing on finishing my report due tmw, but... well. overwhelmed by my want (or need) to go back. aiyoh. so hungry now. can i have changi's nasi lemak? tsk.

went out with kota last fri for jap karaoke. haha. interesting. i tired a few jap songs myself and decided i was more chinese.

need to look for budget accomm and food, and everything else.

more firsts...

2009-04-27T22:05:00.003+08:00

i finally decided to cut my hair here. can't stand the grassyness. so it's the first time i cut hair in aus! along with it cam the wild decision that i wanted... i dyed my hair! first time too! it's nice! love it, something along chestnut brown. shall upload photo next time.

and first time cook for 11 ppl at 1 go. stress. they wanted to try my cooking so i stupidly agreed. i mean, 2-3 was fine, but 11?! so i wasn't successful in my cooking today, screwed up. mainly cos of me lah of cos. but chef otherwise, my equipment were lousy or inadequate, with ladles too small to reach the end of the pot to stir...etc. shall try again! korean chilli octopus or squid is my next attempt! so disappointing. the dish i cook today was usually good when it was for 2. today it looked totally different! must learn how to manage big amts! moving up to restaurant levels mah... must learn to cook in large quantities, with great quality. although they said it was quite nice. i know it's words of comfort. but i was just so angry i couldn't eat. why must it turn out that way? i put effort in lor... to go buy, carry all the way. so much ingredients. prepared for 2 hrs in the kitchen. to realise the final was crap. shall learn new dishes, and next time i'll cook for less ppl, or in portions. cooking all in one huge pot is hard to gauge factors!

anyway, no link to wad i said previously, random, but i made a new quote: Get real, Go fake.

I always knew why I wasn't well-liked...

2009-04-25T13:40:00.002+08:00

sitting alone in a corner with my hands over my knees. would u pity me, or just look and not bother, or start thinking wad kind of weirdo is that? that is who u see me on the outside, and hence the 1st impression. many a time, i had to hold back my feelings or thoughts. cos i've not yet come out, and i couldn't just blab away my true self. but i get sick of myself. there's so much i wanna share.

inside me, the bubbly nature is held back, pressed back deep into me. as it tries to free itself, it hurts so much. i just wanna be me! cheerful, outgoing, fun to be with; and not boring, quiet and weird.

about any kind of relationship, it's like knocking two stones together. one knock, and u create a spark. a few more times, a small fire, but if too many times, u've created a fire too big it goes out of control, a fire disaster. just when u thought a little friction could provide some warmth, the spark causes a huge fire, one in which u cant subside. the fire brigade comes in and sprays it all down. and wad's left is rubble, though memories still live on.

not emoing, just thinking...

on another thought, why am i slacking so much! getting into vet sci is no easy feat. must focus! and i am sad that i'm missing out on too many 21sts! even my own!

Royal Easter show!

2009-04-19T12:01:00.002+08:00

Carnivals, farms, theme parks, game stalls. a major event annually in sydney that is situated at the olympic park, where sydney hosted the olympics in 2000.

me and lin and sut went. it was hilarious, when me and lin started small at the swing, and boldly tired the mega throw machine that rotated to heights of i think... 100m? it was just so high up. experienced zero gravity continuously, while i screamed my lungs out... haha!

saw loads of aniamls, farm animals. competitions were going on for cattle, sheep, poultry, dogs, cats, horses. and i got to touch so many of them. the baby lambs were so petite and extremely shy! but they got all cuddly when u got near them. as i patted a dairy cow, i told myself no feelings were to be developed as i may have to drink it's milk and slaughter it for that fabulous steak one day. i told it, and it simply mooed. sigh... life of a cow.

went out for a movie at hoyts with kris and kota a few days back. my first movie in sydney! and it's ex. $14 with student concession. why?! i still wanna watch monster vs aliens 3D at imax. it has the world's largest screen, but it's $25... tsk. up by pixar is coming up, and harry potter fans... trailer is on! so some movies to look forward to!

Hunter Valley, Nelson Bay, Newcastle

2009-04-17T14:20:00.002+08:00

these are the places i travelled to for the past 3 days. fun... and definitely lead an atas lifestyle! we rented and car and drove for 2 hrs up north sydnay. and i actually got to drive in the 3 days, travelling more than 100kph on aussie roads! *thrilled* but also quite dangerous, recounting the near death experiences along roundabouts. haha.

we had too much wine to drink, too much cheese and chocolates to eat (of which more than half i still couldn't name), too many beautiful skies, vineyards, sunrises/sunsets, beaches to soak in. too much to do (horse-riding, visiting wildlife reserves, vineyards and factories, star-gazing), sigh. too atas. life sucks! haha. this is to dig into those who're having their exams.

jealous? well. i was having my break, but now it's back to work.

Happy easter!

2009-04-12T12:57:00.003+08:00

easter here means a week's break from sch. and of course, the resurrection of jesus christ our lord.

haha! i know a lot of uni students in sin are having exams! but we're having hols! yeah! anyway, i tried to go for a latin mass just now. it was fine, except... i didn't understand a thing the priest was saying and i just followed suit, kneel, stand, sit, kneel, stand ,sit. haha. quite funny. the prayers r in latin. as the name suggests, it shud all be in latin. so i sat back and tried to listen. and half way thru the mass did i realise he was speaking english! for the gospel only. but still, i was like lol. he went," so we can see mumermumermmejrhbwevcwjhvjwhc and today mnvbewhyrvchwevjhrvcjhevjhe, but for the lsjrbfiwebchwebvjwebhh." haha. ya i could only make out a few of the words he said.

on the way back, strangers wished me happy easter, so happy. i even got choc eggs! and i passed the bubble tea shop and couldn't resist so i bought a taro milk tea. oh my... so yummy!

went chinatown to stock up for the week again. so heavy lah, carry all by myself. walked there and back to save on transport costs. sigh, why so sad. and when i returned, guess who i saw sitting under my apartment at the fastfood outet oporto? weibin! my ex-pc studying in UQ. he drove down for hols during easter. so 巧！

yup, me driving down with a grp of frens up north sydney to hunter's valley for wine tasting in horse carriage then go watch whales maybe? atas hor. budget one lah. then going to royal easter show. so many things i wanna do! visit manly beach, imax, the zoos and aquariums. haha. but must rmb to do homewrk wor... and house work, that i seem to be the only one doing all for my room even though there's another. wanna move out. here too ex. and i wanna just take care of myself. sick of cleaning up after others, or cooking, washing, cleaning, not doing able to do things properly in the dark as another's sleeping. etc. i need my own room. haha. full of complaints hor...

ok. see ya!

boredom in my room

2009-04-10T15:45:00.002+08:00

so many times i get bored. i mean, not that i wanna slack, but short breaks at the end of the day should be fine right. the thing is that the tv addict here has no tv to watch. got lah, but only angmoh shows, which r soooo boring. wanna watch videos also too ex due to internet restrictions. miss singaporean food, tv shows, taiwanese vareity progs... and bubble tea. they do sell it here but it's $4plus per cup... so tempted to buy as i walked pass the shop just now. one of the first thing to do when i return is to have taro/strawberry/choc snowshake or milktea! with many many pearls!

the thing with boredom is that even cooking has become my form of 'leisure'. and since i prepare my own meals, it's kinda the only part of the day i can relax. such ironies.

can't wait to meet up and get back my singaporean self. i'm so fake here with all the accents. have to cos they understand u better if u say it they way they do.

ok. till later! or how the aussies say it: " c ya lighda!"

stages

2009-03-26T07:10:00.004+08:00

life is theatre. mine happens to be boring. i like it boring. but sparks once in a while won't kill...

stage 1: know someone new.
stage 2: like that someone.
stage 3: know that person better, and realises the person's perfect for u.
stage 4: fall in love... by this i mean one sided...
stage 5: confession.
stage 6: receive withdrawals. and u react by having withdrawals as well.
stage 7: heartbreaks. emoness. hate everything. jealousy steps in.
stage 8: delusional. imagines a perfect life if stage 5 hadn't happened, or if stage 6 didn't go the way it had.
stage 9 (after a long time): starts to recover from fact that it's never possible.
stage 10: goes back into delusional stage. does irrational things.
stage 11 (after a long loooong time): truly recovers with a tinch of lingering pain. warning: susceptible to return to stage 10.
stage 12 and then on: MOVE ON! be strong!

忍不住有想要爱你的冲动。。。

staring, not thinking.

2009-03-24T12:46:00.001+08:00

i know i need to focus on my studies. and i m. so that's good. but these days, something else pops out other than equations or botanical names...(haha, we have to memorise botanical names for plants in agriculture. how lame esp when i signed up for animal science. so vet sci here i come!)

back to the topic... i was surfing and searching for an effective method of destroying Conyza bonariensis aka flaxleaf fleabane aka a kind of weed common in southern aus. (chim hor? ya. that's wad i'm doing... sianz)... when my mind blanked. partially due to tiredness after a whole day's worth of classes, and partially due to thoughts that shouldn't come. i don't need this kind of thought establishment cos with insensible thoughts comes worthless ideas that try to materialise. but then again, chances r minimal, almost zero. i just know it. it's a cycle. truths been told, and nothing came out sane. i'll never get a chance at this. but i'm not the kind who sits and waits, rather i would love to seek my own life, own happiness. so near yet so far... actually just beside me now.

another subject... i realised i gave too much credit to the angmohs, lacking the doubts or to believe they were still not that dumb. nono, nothing happened. just an observation made. but i guess generalisations dun come without evidence. the words 'dumb blonde' r pretty much accurate. they may be in uni but they find simple things "So~~~ hard!" ya... like totally. haha. can't help but laugh at them.

ok. see ya soon! erm... maybe not so soon lah huh? haha. love u all! miss u all SOOOOOOO much!!!!!!

3rd week's ending, and work's pilling...

2009-03-18T19:42:00.002+08:00

i'm into my 3rd week of sch, and i've been more than amonth away from singapore. my longest ever, and making new records as the second hand ticks. it definitely seemed longer than that. and i miss Singapore so much. i knew i would feel all these even before accepting my offer to come here that was about a year ago. miss my fam, my frens, and my carefree life.

well, i would say i've more or less settled down and have adapted to sch life. just that it's pretty much of a routine. sch on week days, and grocery shopping at chinatown for groceries i need for the following week on weekends. haven't really got the time to travel, or visit areas other than the city. have been a student, not a tourist, and it's nothing wrong. just that i should know the place well before anyone visits so i can bring u guys around places tour agents dun. hmmm. busy though. really wanna tour a bit more.

see ya singapore! miss u so so so much!

sch started, but i'm still kinda lazy.

2009-03-08T09:50:00.003+08:00

still can't confirm my future right now... with my current degree to become an animal scientist or biologist. uni life isn't as carefree as i thought it would be. less stress over here in syd? if that's true, i'd probably collapse in singapore uni. lessons start at 8 and some end at 5. seems more than wad i had. and, the notes they give aren't explanatory enough. guess texts r essential.... sigh$$$. the lecturers speak so quickly and u're supposed to like take notes at that speed...crazy lah. even angmohs also say fast. haha. and the assumed knowledge of HSC subjects, aka A levels, have long been forgotten since 2 yrs in army kinda made me. luckily i was kiasu enough to bring my notes over from jc to revise but haven't really done so. the angmohs here party everynight, and it's a nuisance when they start getting drunk and high outide ur room just as u're cramming or about to go the bed. hate angmohs.

shall try to get scholarship, and change my degree at the end of the year to vet sci. so i may be in syd for 6 yrs instead of 4. haha.

anyway, went for the largest annual gay and lesbain parade cum festival in the world last night, mardi gras 2009. smaller scale than i expected it to be. the revealing was rather expected, so were the stunts. the crowd was scary. too many ppl, shall go early next yr, if i'm still going that is. so many that we had to buy stools to stand on to watch. and those business man were really smart to make use of such a chance. $10 for 1 stool. haha. shall go sell them next year.

ok. see ya next time. sorry no pics here. cos i upload on facebook.

my new add in syd

2009-03-01T19:00:00.002+08:00

Unilodge Apartment 1100
185-211 Broadway, Ultimo
NSW 2007
Australia

haha. that's it for now. till i move again... can write me stuff!

sch's starting tmw...

all that's happening

2009-02-26T22:42:00.002+08:00

yup. haven uploaded photos from anywhwere to anywhere for a while, and not intending to do so cos of my limits in internet usage. need to use it for sch.

yup. when my fam was here, we went to chinatown, darling harbour, sydney bridge, opera house. pretty much the main attractions around sydney's city.

everything here costs much more than singapore. transport is crazy. taxi meter jumps per 4 seconds. so an hr's ride is approx AUD60. crazy? buses for a few stops is a few dollars, ad trains for a few stops can go more than 10. crazy? can't stand it. internet and phone has limits. if exceeded pay pay pay. shit. i hate this. who calculates all this when u're so used to unlimited in sing? as we complain of every rise of 10c in a bus ride. i wish i paid 20c more to use the services which are much less complex and way cheaper.

haha. bitch club here this: i went to k in chinatown! yup 10 for 3hrs. haha. even sydney also have k!

will be busy though i hope not. with, sch work, home work, house work... sigh. have to go far far places for pracs. lectures one after another all day but diff venues. quite far so gotta run. start 8am each day. some days end 5-6pm! so tiring. my course is killing me. dunno whether i'll truly enjoy uni life. and i haven't been exercising! ahhh. stressed even b4 term begins.

din bring my guitar here cos already overpacked. good thing a fellow singaporean brought. so i played it. brought m=back memories as i strummed familiar tunes. missed the times in camp where we played all day. miss ns ppl, like james and kf. miss one unique person. as i heard my friend, who is really good, play the guitar, i remembered the one who made my heart melt. it ached for the person once more. thought i would be too pre-occupied by all my busy-ness and heart filled with 舍不得s for my fam, that i wouldn't think of e. confirmed i was serious, not just desperate. and i remembered y i hurt for more than a year now.

ok. see ya!

life in syd so far...

2009-02-23T15:02:00.001+08:00

Hi all! or should i say, Good die mite!

first i wanna apologise for not being able to update all this while. mainly cos i've got no internet set up till now. have been really busy, setting up stuff around here.

still unfamiliar, but adapting. felt really sad when fam went back to Singapore. feeling really alone. miss them so much. actually even before they left. or even before i came to syd.

next, really wanna thank u all for ur good wishes and blessings, esp those who came to see me off at the airport. thx xiao yi, bev and luc for coming down! and army frens! (bs, jer, hl, jam, kf, jx, lance, lk, ys, shasha, marcy though u weren't really actually there for me ha!) ex-cs zhuxi! (hao), 4j! (ami, xx). and big thx for the gifts! (bitch club gave me a super sweet self made photoframe with self-captured scenes of us! all e memories... and bs jer and hl for 'the gift' book, jam for ur long but really touching letter, kf too! and the chocs, yh gh for ur slips, xx for the gel that i couldn't bring on board. ha! and so much more. sorry if i left out any names!

hope all will do fine! meet up when i return, most prob at end of year unless i really miss u all and i drop in in july...

and an impt note! i can't be online as often or reply any mails cos of my expensive internet. too used to unlimited net surfing in singapore and then u realise how ex it is to use it here. cos they have limit on the band or something so u can't really surf or upload or download or watch stuff online as there'll be extra charges if u exceed the band usage of like 3GB per month. so my blog will become shorter and shorter. and more and more boring! cos less pic and stuff. not like it was very interesting to begin with.

ok. that's all for now and i'll see when i can tell u about life here in sydney and my trips with my fam and frens!

Oh my gosh!

2009-02-20T20:05:00.002+08:00

no time to update. not even now. cos no internet set up yet. explain latewr. everything damn ex. super ex can. small small thing also must pay. very busy setting up everything. no line. no nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh! so stressed. now at internet cafe for emergency internet use. so ex. but no choice cos i still have no connection. shit. money running.

still haven thank all for sending me off at the airport. thank individually when i get back or next blog. now rushing. dunno wad i'm saying. ok thanks thanks. feeling so lost when my parents leave.

and ya. kf. wanted to celeb for ur 21stbirthday but can't. so irritating. shall repay u when u return i promise! here's first wishing u a Big Luxurious Greatface and bod and relationship and life plus plus plus for ur sweet 21st birthday! hugs! shall tell u more next time. can;t even msg u all or mail u a card. or a mirror i wanted to give u for ur birthday. haha. serious. from ikea. ok gtg.

signing off from sydney!

all the uncertainties...

2009-02-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

met ex-cave staff for dinner on wed at white tangerine. then had so much fun at playground near cave. all childhood memories revived.

thurs met xx, lynn and yh for k. fun fun, esp when xx sang phantom. long time no see. good to catch up finally.

went out with cousins on fri. fun. never really went out for this long with them b4. went to cave at bq for drinks. thanks fion and evelyn for staff discount. then went topone for k till 6am. ha, k till so late again. seems like when i k, i never get tired. in between went starbucks, taglio, ah chiu desserts, mac. ha!

went to relative's place today for a buffet as a farewell for me. thx, really appreciate it!

going out everyday...

Chalet!

2009-02-11T14:56:00.003+08:00

went for a 4d3n chalet at costa sands downtown from fri to mon. finally having one to ourselves after wanting it for so long. but too bad just wasn't there! did normal chalet things. plus wild wild wet. plus tanning for me. ha. love looking tanned. even went to meet seniors (yuex, milly, jiey, xues, vivian) to have dinner at tamp's swensons and celeb milly's birthday! haven't met for a few years so it was kinda exciting. then back to the chalet, and that was when the surpirse party came popping by! thx all (gh for booking at such a cheap rate; gh sh, yc for planning the surprise which really shocked me cos of the party poppers as we opened the door and didn't expect anything; yl, yh, sh, gh, yc for being there and having loads of fun together!) yc baked a cake! and decorated the room. and i got a personalised diary cum organiser. thx a lot yall!

us. with derek and lwl.

us. with just(the balloon, which got burst under gh's butt later on... haha!)

us. with seniors.

met li friends for dinner on mon at azabu sabo. 大kt, 小kt, yl, ql, br, hh. so so so long never meet le! but there was no awkwardness despite us not seeing each other for ages. guess we've had a common history and there were loads to catch up on. then camwhored in the middle of raffles city. ha!

met jo on tues. finally had a proper, unrushed gathering. watched bride wars, which was a pretty nice chick flick. then had lunch at billy bombers. thx jo so much for ur treat at bb! u tc too ya!

acting bride wars! jloe's kate hudson. i'm anna hatheway.

then met jiaxin, ben, lance, ys at topone bugis at night for k session. thx jiaxin for the k treat!

pg 被炸到。变成马来妹！

haha. cos of the treats, didn't have to spend much on mon! haha!

ok. sorry my descriptions getting shorter and shorter, cos i'm rushing or time. going out again later. have been going out everyday and will still be till the day i fly, next mon. still haven pack! ahhhh! no time!

meeting cave staff later at white tangerine. and ya! i'm gonna take my pay at cave. cos they say i still have.

ok. i'll put on photos later. after i upload... haha!

I passed my tp!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-01T02:00:00.002+08:00

So so happy. Thank God! couldn't hide my laughter as i walked out of the examiner's room with a piece of paper in my hand that printed: passed. haha! then went to watch video and shared the joy with fellow testees that passed as well. awaiting my photo licence...

went church. then uncle's place. then Zirca! haha. with xx and her frens. my 2nd clubbing experince, but 1st official one in a real club. luckily for the free tix xx won. (Thx for asking me along!) it was a 987FM party for tix holders only. As for the circus acts (ppl in skimpy clothing turning in hoops, bending over bars, dancing around poles) not that amazing, and i think rather easy to do... haha. But overall experience, quite ok. we got to mingle with some DJs. they were friendly and really fun! talking to us for long periods, even asking about our personal lives. too bad i dun really listen to 987 so i dun know the DJs, but xx was like, there there! he's whoever whoever, or, she's whoever lah. and i'm oh...ok. had free drinks, housepours, mixes. drank a little, compared to xx, who felt a little nauseas after leaving Zirca. haha! but fun lah.

I got my licence! Woooooooooooohooooooooooooooooo!

wake up.

2009-01-28T23:13:00.001+08:00

biatch. No longer. I'm moving on to better. at least that's wad i tell myself and is trying to do.

Enough Silly Y Jordan

2009-01-25T19:24:00.002+08:00

end of a love note. I miss you... again.

My 21st bdae cum farewell!

2009-01-19T02:45:00.031+08:00

A Great Big Thanks to CARA, JIAJIA, KF and JAMES!!!! they came together and planned a farewell plus early 21st birthday celebration for me, as i won't be in sin during my bdae. haha. it was a surprise except for a msg wrongly sent to me about the meeting venue that slipped a little, but nonetheless i didn't suspect. so indeed, i was truly surprised that a ex-cavern staff outing turned out to be one of my best bdae celebrations ever! i was not told the venue, just time to meet. so it got a little suspicious at first. and before i know it, we were at timbre!

us!

and we ordered food! yum! roast duck pizza, seafood platter, timbre wings, kebabs, louisiana fries, 2 jugs of heiniken... simply deliciouso!

ok... looks good right? tastes great too! but the main focus is on the ppl which i'm so getting back to. so, being unsuspicious of anything, thinking it was just a normal outing, they shocked me by flashing out a yellow box tied nicely with ribbons and messages over it. so touched i tell u... almost cried when i found out wad the outing was about! so, tons of photos were taken before i had the 'opening ceremony'. it was great fun! having superstar dreams, the non-stop paparazzi flashing of all 3 cameras at the same time did just the trick! so i took the box of gifts while they held their letters for me!

with james!

with cara!

with jiajia!

with keng foo!

and guess wad i got...

tada!

guess wad this is... condoms! haha. they r so cheeky. more to come!

and a tiger print G-string! ha!

another zebra one!

and a bling superstar notebook... nice, and suits my zanny character!

and a cardigan, and i've always wanted to get one!

and how do i look?

and of course, after that, loads of cam-whoring. wad great fun! even all the way to posing with posters in raffles city!

once again, i really wanna thank the 4 of u for the wonderful night! really appreciate it! thanks for the prezzies and the meal! love them. but none of the gifts can be compared to the greatest of them all, which is the friendship among us! the company was the main focus, cos without the support of u guys, i wouldn't have come that far! cara and jiajia, thx for making my life at cavern so memorable. it was u all that kept me going for a while working there. and thx for being such great friends! kf and jamie, u know we've come a long way and i can't thank u enough for all the help u've given me through all the hard times i had. my life wouldn't have been so happy if not for u both! best friends forever! ok... i know that sounded really childish but who cares!

really will miss u all when i leave! *sobs*

went out...

2009-01-17T15:45:00.004+08:00

On tues, went out with bitch club (ys, lance, lk) for dinner at astons. un surprisingly good and cheap. dun get the burgers though, taste normal and serving ain't that filling, unless u're feeling fat. haha. then we went to liang siah st at bugis for desserts! and we had a durian paste with pomelo, and another durian pastry. dope.

durian paste with pomelo, sweet with a tinge of bitterness. yum.

crispy on the outside, oozing with goodness from the inside, soft, fragrant. mouthful of wonder.

Haha. just found out how i can upload photos onto my blog. slow...i know, but it's a start! found my blog really boring, hope to add my own music in too!

also, met up with my sec sch class mates! it was meant to be just a class outing but xx told everyone it was my farewell. really appreciate it! but didn't want it in the first place as i was afraid the turnout will be low. haha. tot if ppl knew it was my farewell instead of outing less or none would turn up. but eh... they gave me face! quite a no. came, despite their busy schedules and some even amidst exams in uni. we went to manhattan at ps, which was ok. but the conversations were more of catching up and old times. seeing all of them being so successful in their own league motivates me. they're either top in law sch or med fac, having top grades in chem en, aceing in business, or simply doing it all with double degrees. sigh, when can i be like them...

chi bi 2, white tangerine, night safari

2009-01-12T16:47:00.002+08:00

watched 赤壁2 with a third of the platoon on sat. rather interesting seeing how they fought battles with more brain than brawn, and strategies that naturally never fail the good side. nice, and a should watched if u have for the first one. if not u'll be stranded. this part finally executes the battle at chi bi itself.

before that, we had just acia at douby exchange and it was cheap lah! $8 u get a pretty good set meal with free flow drinks and ice cream (which jam spammed... haha! mount everest!). and after chi bi, we went to cine for bbq chicken which was pretty ok. though more oily, and pretty much expensive kfc. so stick with kfc for fried chicken.

after all, me and jam were heading home when we felt rather bored. so...... we headed for cavern! haha! chatted with cara. felt so good to see muz when i'm no longer staff cos i'm now customer and he can't say anything. actually, we wanted to tell him we were just passing by and on our way to grapevine...... haha! in the end, we decided not to be so mean. but in the end, we really went to another bar. we passed by the white tangerine at paya lebar/ kovan cc while on our way to cavern and a live band lifted us off our tracks. haha! they were playing i'm yours by jason mraz! right music from live band at the right time! so, after visiting cavern, we went back to white tangerine. eaten there with my mum before and it's really quite a nice place to chill. much better than cavern and u can see by the crowd differences at the 2 places. cavern is always empty while white tangerine is packed! and i'll disclose why. first, the food and drinks are way cheaper! prices are approx 50% of wad they have at cavern! though variety is less. and there's a live band. it's breezy. so the choice is pretty obvious! so ppl, till cavern's prices drop (i already told muz about the exorbitant, go elsewhere ya...

on sun, my fam and i visited the night safari! long awaited. for a person who loves zoos, the night safari is quite ok. first, the animal shows are not too bad, but u can't visit the entire park on foot. turns out that only 'trails' can. for other areas (approx 30% of the park), can only be seen when u go for the tram ride (additional $10), as the animals are free roaming, so walking around without tram protection may make u dinner. haha. but overall, nice place. if u only wanna see animals, it's better, and cheaper, at the day zoo, cos there're more shows, activities, animals, and basically u can see better in the day.

sigh, still stressed with accomm!

I resigned, with pride, honour and gladness.

2009-01-08T01:52:00.005+08:00

just had klunch with jloe, jas and lin and their bfs at cine. haha. fun meeting them after so long. we actually wanted to go settlers at smu after that, but changed our minds. so we splitted after another choc ice blended together at gloria jeans. me and jo who wanted to catch up with movies with so many available and more coming up, so we went to watch Australia. nice, though not as wonderful. a little draggy, but touching at moments when family reunites. then jas, lin went to have desserts.

today, i quitted my job after taking it down for weeks. i mean, the only things keeping me there is mainly fellow staff (now friends), oli (my supervisor), and that's about it. it's not like i was ill treated. but the pay is miserable, and i always feel unvalued and left out. both assistant managers are mean to stuff, not counting the exact hours, no ot pay, no tips fairly given to us like they promised, no whatever incentives they mentioned earlier. all lies. and i think, theywould probably do fine with the rest of the staff. [u guys hang in there ya. i already tried to knock some sense into ur boss before i left, hopefully it changes for the better.] and many of them wants to quit too, after they find a better job outside, which isn't really that hard. we provide great service, and we deserve better treatment, and thus better jobs. well, as for me, resigning would be an matter of occurance sooner or later, as i'm going to syd for studies. i feel relieved. and if my cheque bounces and i have to go back to ask him to rewrite it for me, i'm gonna lose my pride. shit. hope it doen't happen, shall try the bank tmw.

tmw, going to k again with cavern staff (jam, cara, jiajia)! haha, now that i'm no longer... at this $10 club, from 2-7, free flow drinks and a bowl of complimentary shark's fin (anyway, pls dun eat shark's fin! save the envt!) for $10 nett! how cool is that. anyway, tell u more after i've been there.

tc u all!

my virgin clubbing experience...

2009-01-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

and it was great! not that i'm addicted, cos i dun crave another. but the one at jeanz (the cavern's own club at boat quay), was just fun. mainly cos of the ppl!

we (jam, jiajia, cara and oliver) stayed till near 7am! though we expected to leave early, we stayed till it ended. even most perm staff left before us... haha! of course, there were siying, kf, wana who left earlier. we danced, ate, drank, talked(or rather shouted due to booming music), and laughed the whole night. we who stayed the whole time, even went for teh tarik half way thru at a indian prata shop nearby and it was good! and oli recommended the briyani there which he boasts the best ever. shall try it next time. anyway, back to jeanz, cara went crazy, liang teh was clapping nonstop with her head low and eyes closed (like on drugs sia! haha. jkjk), and jam rocked the dance floor. ok.. at points they formed circles in the centerstage. and being a club virgin, i happily joined when they asked me to, cos i was kinda high myself. then i realised i was in a trap. they were showing off dance moves! i was thinking y i was there, and tried to sneak off but got dragged back all the time. they took turns to shake their bodies one by one in the middle of the circle. and soon it reached my turn... i was flunged into the centre by josh, and i looked helplessly at my friends at the corner of the club talking and laughing. i started to heck it and give myself a break... so i shook wad i could awkwardly. haha. and though i din know how to dance, they clapped and cheered for me! so i continued with some of my moves then quickly ran back to the side. ha! it was truly a fun experience yo.

then went home to sleep for a while and came out in the aft to meet ham. we shopped for a while then went to hansang at square 2 for a korean feast! we met junyi and ordered nice authentic korean food. and the lady boss was really kind to us! when she knew that ham understood korean, she treated us to more food! there was a green pea jelly that she made herself and she gave more to us when we simply said it was nice. most wouldn't like green peas but the jelly tasted so diff! we has bibimbab, ginseng chicken, bbq pork and many side dishes like kimchi, veg and sprouts. yum!

ok. that's for now. great times shall last.

HaPpY nEw YeAr!!!

2009-01-01T15:30:00.002+08:00

and may all our wishes come true with the new year!

thx to all who wished me!

yup. worked on christmas eve and now on new year's eve, 5 till 3 plus (though muz only gave till 2 despite bryan's advice) ha!. but nvm, it's a new year to live and let live. ~~~could all acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind!~~~ haha. though din really count down at cavern. i mean, there was so much work. so many ppl suddenly, like the opening day. usually, it's 3-4 tables max at any 1 time. but yest was like woah. reservations were nearly 100 pax. and drive ins came continuously. once a table had been cleared and set, it's occupied, or merged to hold another big group. haha. but fun nonetheless. not that boring. as the time counted down, 10, 9, 8... i was just wiping cutlery and it just went over till the new year. no doubt, tables went of roaring with sparklers and whistles provided (that created loads of noise but atmosphere as well), i smiled to myself and made a silent wish (with a cloth and a fork i was wiping still in my hands... haha), and prayed that things would be good and goes smooth for me and my family in the year ahead. same goes to all of u ya! that's right!(barberella)

had a bit of hoegaarden, san miguel and stella artois yesterday near closing cos everything was moved in and we were just waiting for a group to leave before we keep everything. haha. first official drink after working so long at the cavern. muz poured for us. and later, joon and myself had a little fun in the kitchen and the bar. cheap thrill u see, as these places are out of bounds to us. under supervision of the managers, we were allowed to tap 2 pints of draught beers for them! bartenders sia... though we kinda failed. haha. having no experience in bartending, we poured out more foam then beer. so they were kkinda frothy... heh. then we sneaked into the kitchen and raided it for food. haha. there were leftovers there! unwrapped still, afriad that they might attract rats, we became the rats and brought out the food to eat! mini fish and chips with ham & cheese sandwiches! yum. haha. oliver dabaoed some. the rest were thrown away, wad a waste! sigh, common for fb to waste food cos of quality control. but at least we did some justice to them by eating some before throwing the rest. haha!

ok. gonna go to the 'the grammy's' later at night at cavern boat quay (jeanz, a cavern club) for a company d&d. so gonna drink more. the theme is glamour, so suits and dresses will be showcased. hope i dun look too bad tonight! it's till 6am. and tmw, going out with ham for shopping in the aft followed by hansang for dinner with ham and kf. dunno can wake up a not.

ok. happy new year again! love yall!

My deepest congrats to Andrew and Fiona!

2008-12-28T23:24:00.002+08:00

Yup. their wedding day was today!

splendid, simply, splendid. everything went well, from the gatecrashing in the morn, to the banquet and tea ceremony in the aft. and i didn't screw up, that's impt. haha. really thanks for letting me do this!

then went daidomon near concourse with fam for jap grill buffet. ok, food really nice, esp beef belly strip tenderloin! yum. it's super ex though! 48++ per person on weekeneds. will never go back, cos the price is just scary. i'd rather go lawry's the prime rib and have my $70+ steak. surprising? but best i've ever had. back to daidomon... service sucks cos i think lack of stuff. orders didn't come, long waits for dishes etc. i think i should expect that in a ala carte buffet restaurant. ha.

ok. have fun u all!

wedding week! not for me lah...if only.

2008-12-27T14:34:00.002+08:00

Heya all! long time no talking to u all!

haha, have been really lazy so haven updated for a while, but interesting events coming up!

first, i went to an aunt's place for christmas gathering with my family and relatives. huge crowd of 30 plus in a small flat. haha. but cosy and fun. it's common for us to meet once every 2-3 months as a gathering, including the must haves like christmas. did some caroling, then potluck with loads of good food from all familes. we made mango puree. favs were poached salmon, shepherds pie, and of course the turkey! haha. yum, salivating at the thought...

today, was michelle's wedding. i went for the wedding mass and oh my, i nearly cried when they said their wedding vows and exchanged rings. the march-in, parent accompany, choir and organist were just great. so happy for them! then we had a wedding reception at st ignatius hall. just when i thought it was just normal catering, the reception luch with marquee tent covers came into sight. boy was it good! it was a wedding buffet by hyatt hotel, with cocktail tables and wine and better food. atas sia!

later going to fiona's house for buffet dinner plus pre wedding final briefing for the big day tmw! and yup, i'll be hosting the wedding tmw at novotel, clarke quay. hope all goes well! anticipations... yup, then dinner tmw night after the wedding with my family for my mum's birthday, though it was on the 26th dec. haha, postponed a little.

ya... shall update more events, and hopefully good news soon! hmmm... when will it be my turn?

days of my week

2008-12-20T13:52:00.002+08:00

well. other than the exhilarating trip at jb on mon, which somehow seems so long ago. i've been either playing the com, facebooking, checking out accomms in sydney, or working. so it has been pretty boring. busy though.

well, cavern is alright. i mean, at least the staff (fellow part-timers, not the bosses except one filipino supervisor oliver) are really fun to be with. worked at cavern boat quay on fri. first ever job at boat quay, though only for a day. but nonetheless, it's nowhere else but a bar to enjoy the night life at while u work...in a bar! haha. and i got my first ever tips! 11 bucks! yeah. the group of angmohs were really rich from the way i order drinks from them. "can i have a ... and another... and one more... and what about a bottle of..." they sure drink a lot and fast.

haha. gotta. work next week too! and it's busy next week. gotta attend 2 weddings back to back, in which one i'll host. yeah! real excited. can't wait to see the happy couple celebrate one of their finest moments in life. so priviledged to have been called in to help.

so... Merry Christmas!

ORD... finally.

2008-12-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

121208, the day i ord. technically speaking, it's supposed to be on the 14th, but as it's a sun (non-working day), i collected my pink ic and left the camp for good. happy? not really, more nostalgia. i miss everything as soon as i stepped out. missing all the things i did, went thru, and the greatest frens who went thru together. though kf told me not to look back when i got thru the rp gate, i just couldn't resist it. at least 1 last glance...

once again, a GREAT BIG THANKS to all who were with me during my nsf years, couldn't thank u all less... for so many things. *sobs*

well, the whole bunch of platoon 5 plus those who orded then met for a movie, the day the earth stood still. most turned up. anyway, the show wasn't that nice. no climax, too short. too impossible and senseless. recommended only for keanu fans.

after, that very short 'celebration' for us who just orded, me jam and kf left for our job. so speaking, i do not have rest cos i start work the day i retire. for 6.50 an hr at the cavern aroozoo, i work as a part-time waiter. being the pioneer batch for the bar (as fun as it sounds), we had a lot of saikang to do. including, lots of moving heavy things, arranging furniture, loads of spring cleaning, painting, mopping whole floors, more cleaning... before the soft launch on sun. on the opening day, we served, cleaned, and did everything an f&b waiter usually does. but, as it's the first day, everything isn't that settled, and one of them is the dish washers (man or machine), as both were unavailable for use. one of the most hated chores at home was to wash dishes at home, yet i had to do it for hrs! i tell u, i've never washed so many dishes. huge kitchen trays, bowls, pots, pans and cutlery that were used by chefs like they were expendables, coupled with diners' plates and cutlery, mounted everywhere in the dishwashing area. on the floor, table, sink, everywhere. oh my gosh, it was a mountain, no kidding, and it never stopped growing, even as we washed as fast as we could. they were so dirty, esp those from the kitchen and they spammed and used like free. like use a bowl to put something for a few seconds then transfer to another plate and throw all not-really-used dishes in the sink. just cos they aren't the ones cleaning them up. and the tap they use sucks. not really high pressure as it should be to spary away hard stains, yet too little to rinse properly. i rather use a normal tap. wash for so long, skin tears, detergent destroys hands. sigh, me jam and kf really had it. the mist from the tap constantly srayed water with food onto us, causing food stains on our uniforms. hello, so smelly and unkempt how to go back out to serve customers? no apron or gloves meh? sorry for all thw whining, but i feel mistreated, thought i know it's part and parcel of an f&b job. on sun, after working till 1 on sat, i had to report at 11 and worked till 1am. 14hrs! haha. though it means more money as it counts by the hr. but tiring lor, cant sit down. very little time to eat meals, drink water and use the bathroom, or learn the cashing system. even drinking water also must go hide. felt like a slave after living much as a diva... haha. have to work lah. if not i have no more allowance. sigh, used to have a stable income for 2 years until i got retrenched recently. no work=no money!

anyway. will be away for sometime (from blogging i meant), cos working or doing uni stuff so busy lah. take care in the meanwhile. will come back as long as i can. luckily i'm on leave today, finally, a break, so i can update! haha.

i went to malaysia today, with pg, ben, ys and wiyatno. due to time limits of the 1 day, only went to city square in jb. haha, they all went there for a shopping spree and boy were they skilful in making use of the malaysia annual year end sale to 'kill'! haha. most went home delighted with their good buys!

ok, love u all, frens and fam!

plaza singapura~~~

2008-12-08T00:28:00.002+08:00

haha! was there yesterday, went again today, and will go once more tmw.

went out with jloe cineleisure on sat. ate pastamania and shopped around. haha. jloe still funny as ever. fun going out, we shud go out again soon! and this time longer, and if possible, with the other 2. ya, maybe never gonna happen. ha.

then met jam, gene and kf for bolt. quite nice lor. much better than i expected. firstly, cos it's disney. never really had a great impression of it, unlike pixar. but it was really quite cute. touching at moments. not too bad at all, can give it a watch. then, we walked from ps all the way to clarke quay, passing pomo mall, raffles city, ms, esplanade, boat quay. we stopped to eat at hans at ms, which was not bad, the beef super burger. then we sat down for some free performance at the esplande, and finally, passing boat quay, with kf wanting to sing but cos we didn't wanna drink, we didn't go in. though it's surprisingly empty, since we expected it to be full especially after witnessing overcrowded ktv bars on fri, but not on sat i suppose.

today, went to meet yl, yc, sh and gh. me and gh watched cape no. 7. didn't know wad it was though heared about it. really quite nice. it's a mixture of stories where different ppl of different times can go through similar incidents and it stiched patches of different ppl from different lifes to meet and end up together, as friends and family. and it makes me wanna buy van fan's new album all the more as i was considering buying cos i liked most of his songs and it's new song plus greatest hits. i like the new cape no. 7 theme song. think i'm gonna get it. saw ave q's soundtrack recordings as well. may buy it too. haha! spend spend spend. must watch wallet now cos i'm gonna get retrenched soon. not bcos of the economy, but i'm gonna ord in less than a week. working in cavern though. to earn some pocket money before i leave.

anyway, tmw, going lao bei jing at ps, for platoon outing. excited cos gonna see all those who orded! yeah.

see ya soon!

ok weird...

2008-11-29T12:44:00.003+08:00

i know it's gonna be really dumb saying this, esp for most still in service, but i dun wanna ord so soon...

being so sure i wanted to leave the service as soon as i stepped foot on tekong, i'm not so anymore. although i wouldn't wanna go through the entire experience again, i know what's pulling me back to ns.

i've learnt so much in camp. not so much on character or discipline or whatever shit they say they will instill in you, but more of social responsibilities and self-portrayal. somewhat how u would react to in a worklife situation. i mean, these are probably neccesities one should already have had while undergoing the grinding by society, but somehow the naive me only realised harsh facts that really bothered me when i came to army. and i can safely say it's the company (ppl, not o or b) that really influenced me. i mean, i'm still me, no doubt, the fun-loving stupid child. but i've seen ppl change in front of me and it tempted me to betray myself so many times to convert my face but then i stood my ground, thanks to many supportive friends. though the nasty vibe of many others haven't seem to fade away, i'll try to forget.

other then this ugly side of ns that i've learnt of, there are plenty of great, fun, silly memories i'm definitely going to keep.

the best of course, is friendship. the strong bonds forged when we experience the same toughness of life and start bitching on others. haha. that's gotta happen sometime in your lifetime. thanks guys, once again for helping me pass my harshest moments. and i know i've never really been the best friend around for u as well. hopefully u'll forgive my bluntness and annoyance!

and of course, the part of me that wants to stay is the lazy part. we have gone through all thick and thin and now is the time when we relax before we ord. so practically, we do nothing but eat sleep, and exercise once in a while. u get so much free time, u can play, read up, write, instrument, etc. we're really in a stress free mode now (definitely not complaining!) where we keep ourselves fit and healthy, and build up talents! originally, it's ccc (civilian conversion course, as they call it), that preps u or at least gives u a break before steeping back into real life again. but somehow, i've gotten used to the slacking, and i dun really feel like moving. face it, u're doing nothing but enjoying yourself everyday and u even get to go out and play each night (nights out), while earning a steady and stable income despite this period of recession and global economic downturn! i mean, who wouldn't want this? i dun really wanna be thrown out there again to be tortured by society, and of course, with an empty wallet and stomach. can't shop anymore... ahhhh!!! ok... i know, i'm running away, but wouldn't u, if u knew wad u're about to face?

sigh ppl. enjoy ur life now. before it ends... muahahahahaha!!!

went out...

2008-11-23T15:10:00.002+08:00

went to watch beverly hills chihuahua on fri. so s0. wouldn't have watched it if not for the company of kf and calv. ok lah, had a long-needed laugh.

then we went to this jazz bar at clarke quay. the singer was not bad. i had 42 below kiwi, which tasted ok though really fragrant. guess i'm not really a vodka person. next, we went to this ktv bar at boat quay. wanted to relive the fun times we had after ord func at whiskey bar but it was full so we went to the one beside it at qb cool bar. it was so uncool. the reason y we went in wasn't for the drinks cos we already had quite a few, but was for the fun of meeting ppl, singing and hoping to earn some drinks. but it was quite boring that day. i think it would be more fun with more ppl. shall ask more to come with me next time, though i think it would be months later. me and kf decided that we should drink less or stop all together at least for the time being. let my body rest. i'm not so much of a drinker to begin with.
p.s. i haven lost my clubbing virginity, that's way cool.

sorry, side tracked too much, anyway, that cool bar was totally uncool. never go to the one beside whisky bar. they were so practical. just cos we ordered less drinks (as we had elsewhere already), we didn't get to sing. our 2 out of 10 plus songs only came out after a lot of others', and then we were ignored all the way.

so we left shortly and went further down to another ktv bar. haha. we obviously wanted to sing that much. and we drank a bit more and sang the whole night, or morning till 6 before we headed home. haha. 3 bars in a night, hardcore. but we drank little all in all, esp me. so we were pretty much normal. except for kf's famous tomato face, haha!

alright, life is going back on track. thank u all once more.

I apologise...

2008-11-22T20:45:00.002+08:00

Talking about misunderstandings... I seem to be a victim of it and also a huge criminal for it.
I would like to take this chance to apologise to my sis about my previous entries.

well, I've always complained about how my sis dun understand me, but then I too dun really know. So it's both our fault that communication wasn't successful.

Just hope that we could start being great siblings again! love, and sorry.

Avenue Q!

2008-11-17T14:36:00.002+08:00

haha. just watched it this sun, with jy and sam. really funny! brightened my day.

then we went to lerk thai (or jerk thai as i like to call it...hee) to have some traditional authentic taste of siam. it was ok, but really just so-so. not recommended unless u're a hard core thai fan. even so, the prices aren't that affordable. so it's a no go for me.

ok... starting my new life, without distractions...

thanks and sorry

2008-11-14T13:12:00.000+08:00

thanks for all who cared! and sorry for the previous post. it was an emotional outburst for me but i'm now much better. thx so much!

take care u all!

enough is enough!

2008-11-13T23:20:00.005+08:00

i'm trembling so hard with rage now i dun even know if i'm talking sense. i didn't wanna blog today but just found it too hard not to talk about something that just happened. wad the hell. if i spewed vulgarities, all would come out now. luckily enough, i'm still considered sane right now.

i'm about to blow, not for thinking too much bout that person cos i know it's officially over. yet i'm officially sick. it's about something that just happened. though that person still contributes to my current situation and my sickness and my 'dunno y i always wash my head so thoroughly everyday but still like that' head that is balding from some fungus from dunno where.

ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it. y do i have to go thru all this. unfair? i really dunno. i must have been evil my past life. ok... by now u probably wanna know wad sparked me of. it's another one of those sessions where my sis enters my room to lecture me on how i never cared about the family and i'm always only doing my own stuff and never ask about wad's goin on in their lives. oh pls... i care too much. must i spell out everything i say, do or think to u. how do i convey it. it's probably my character. often assuming others know how i feel for them inside but they actually dun. i think that's something i have to change cos many times i do so much for others but get ill treated in the end. my lack of outspokeness often led to misunderstandings. i'm a really nice person. i just dun deserve all this rubbish.

stop saying things like that. as if anything is going on in the fam. choi. there's nothing wad, so stop making a fuss out of it. it just scares me more, though i already have so much in my mind to think, clear and fear.

u said i din reply to ur mails. i really didn't and i told u it was cos i never did anything. update wad? u said i never cared or ask. btw, i pray for u each night. not that i want to say it out loud but u forced me to. i used my life as a bet for ur every small happiness, health and safety. and that anything bad on the family have to go thru me first. if there was anything, i would take it all and even die for u. wad makes u think the hell i dun care? how dare u judge me like that. yes, i seldom ask u about ur life. but i did when u returned. i said. how was it? and u said... ok lor. u chose to reply me like that and u expect me to ask more in future? and u accused me of not asking at all, not once. ha. u seem to forget things huh? and only rmb me as the evil, uncaring one.

also, u said i never spend time at home. hello?! in the first place i'm in camp all the time and the rest of my time i can't use the com at home? that's all the time i have with it anyway! not that i dun wanna bring in my laptop to use. and i cant go out with frens? ya. prob i go out more often with frens. u know y? they seem to care more about me than u do, u said it urself bout ur frens. who r u to say me.

i'm already having suicidal thoughts now. bet u din know that. and u think u know so much about me? and u say i dun even care or wan to know anything about u? that's such an insult! a great big understatement! slander! yes, i may have spoken little to u cos u're always hostile in ur words. stop denying and defending urself. Yes u r. i'm saying it again. simply bcos u r close to me everything u say pricks that's y i ask less. i know ok, trust me, i know. stop saying i dun. i dun ask don't mean i don't care. cos deep in my heart as long as i know u're safe and healthy i'm glad. my role always have been the one standing by one side watching over u silently. i may not come out all the time but at least i know u're ok. it has never been the " hi how r u. hugs and kisses kind." i dun mind know? i really dun. but somehow i can't. i wan. and i'll try harder to build this siblinghood. is there such a word? anyway. i want it more than u do, if not at least the same.

at this point, as long as i know u're ok, i leave u alone for a while. cos i seriously need time to deal with my own stuff. to heal my own wounds! as long as u're ok each day i'm happy but i may not have time to chat everyday. again i emphasize, i wan to. but now i dun have time. dealing with so much now, i bet u dunno. i spend so much time in camp. the only times i can go out r weekends. and also the only times i can properly do my admin work. and now my sickness. more seriously, matters of the heart i wanna share with u but haven got the chance and courage too. i understand that's probably mistake on my part and i apologise. but u telling me off just now was really bad timing. not that any other time would be good.

btw, talking about me and my 'lack of care', wad about the care and concern i need? u say me but u urself dun seem to be showing me any! i need so much right now, when i'm so depressed. oh... i bet u din know that cos u were too busy blaming me and insulting me at the time when i'm already so vulnerable. i dun have time and heart for this. i'm already so weak and u use family to push me further. like i dun have enough problems on hand now? y not love, instead of blatant scolding. y not try to understand better. see things from my side and u'll be able to view from my shoes. u'll probably feel the guilt of scolding me then. u say so many things that i never do but i actually do do them in silent yet i dun want to fight back cos i know it'll end up worse. it'll seem like i'm boasting bout how much i care. and though it seems like i'm ignoring u. i'm listening just that i know it's best to just listen and not rebutt.

so many times i wanna share and ask bout u and all. the approach we all want. but the shyness in me and the constant bad memories of u giving me harsh words when i needed comfort made me withdraw the thought. so now u know y. and that's y i ended up turning to frens more. dun blame me for that. and if i were to go to u now and start talking, it would seem so fake just cos u told me off that's y i talked to u. i need time to recover. esp now. but it seems like u never ever understand or give chances. before i'm ready to open up again, u come and bring me down once more...

ok... enough of vomiting.

falling sick...

2008-11-08T20:34:00.003+08:00

lately, i haben't been feeling too well. probably cos of my problem. i've been wrecking my sleeping hours and i'm like forever tired. somehow i think my body just wanna lie on bed and never get up again. it's its way of defence against depression i think. making u rest and avoiding confrontation at any cost. no matter how much i sleep i never get energised. well...actually i haven been sleeping lah. thinking about it all the time though i know perfectly well i shud not. i think i'm having sleeping disorders, something called the 慢性疲劳综合症。which in my case is shown by everlasting fatigue. i'm falling sick as well. always feverish. think that's another way the body is trying to make me rest. but no matter how ill i m, i'll drag myself back to camp on mon, cos... it's the day.

yup. just did recollections today. din think i sang too well. din sing much in the first place cos the other main singers were strong enough they don't really need me there. i shud probably join the church choir or something. at least they need more help there...oh yes...much more help. haha. always been contemplating. sigh. one more day has passed, useless. wasting my time. buck up, me! thanks for all who helped!

love, jordan

哭也哭过了，该是笑的时候了。

2008-11-07T14:11:00.002+08:00

so much have been going on this year. never felt for someone so much before. thinking of you all the time is sure tiring. u know, i wan it to stop and i'm gonna try hard. though it's not gonna be easy. dunno how long the recovery's gonna take......

i love u too much for my own good. all e time i have, u're inside. u're not leaving my memories that quickly. i have cried, hurt myself and did so many silly things to ease the pain. seems like wrist slitting ain't too far fetched an option. well, dun worry guys, i fear pain too much to have it done. having gone thru far too much myself. i always thought the dramatic scenes in tv serials about breakups were so impossible and i would ask myself, "how is it possible that one can be so sad?". but right now, i'm experiencing similarities.though i've never been in a relationships before, i have heard and saved many for others. glad that i could help them. but easier said than done when u apply the same words to yourself......

i always tell others to be strong. so i'm gonna stay with my own words. be strong!

to you (if u're even reading this): i'm really glad u took it in your stride when it was revealed. wad a nice friend! i'll be missing u. wishing u all the best in everything u do. i wont even step in anymore though i still wanna meet up next time. take care, ok?

missing u...

2008-11-02T00:59:00.003+08:00

I can't help it. I think of u all the time. and now that u're leaving on the 10th nov, I really dunno wad to do. whether my confession could bring me chances (i know the chances r so so low), or could from then on destroy the friendship (if this is the closest we can get, i appreciate it and rather not lose this.), i dunno how i shud face it. i dun wanna regret my decision, either revealing it to u or not. i dun even know whether or not u know i like u. sometimes u seem to know but other times u dun, maybe u know it's impossible so u choose to turn away the thought. but whenever i see u, i feel so exhilarated. dunno how i'm gonna deal with not seeing u after being able to see u all this while. many times, so so many times, i've got the strong urge to tell u the truth, about y i'm acting like that, and even wad i feel for u, but frens around me stopped me. i understand the chances are almost none. but i always feel that if i dun say i never will get a chance... at least u know. so in case u decide to take a chance on me, u know i'm available. it may not be now, but when u realise it next time, i dun wanna regret not letting u know and thus missing the great possibility. wad if it's mutual but u weren't sure if i was ok. nah... wad r the chances. i really wanna be with u... yet i dun wanna scare u away. i will hate myself for that. at least i'm still quite close to u now. wad if u rather not know and i tell u? will it be awkward when we meet up in future? sigh, all the uncertainties...

when i see u with s, i feel so happy for u both. seriously, u too r so compatible, so sweet, so ever-loving. that's y i know i m in no position to be with u. i dun wanna spoil all this (not like i have the ability anyway), but i cant stop myself from falling for u. my heart is with u all the time, though i dun think u know. the real reason y i didn't wanna see s was cos i knew i couldn't take it. i'd have mixed feelings, half of me wishing u both the best and wanting to see u get married have kids and live that wonderful life u both would definitely have yet the other half of me feels envious and angry with myself for being the way i m, for acting and feeling for u like that. despite wanting u two to be together, i want it too. really trying to save myself. Lord save my soul from final demnation!

Everything.Super.Yields.Jordan

Taiwan!

2008-10-25T23:39:00.003+08:00

WHAT GREAT FUN!! we did so much and played so much and ate so much... oh my. so wanna go back again.

woke up this morn and found myself on my bed. not that it's anything wrong. it is cosy and warm and really comfy, cos i'm finally back. home sweet home. but the nostalgic feel is overwhelmed by my memories back in taiwan. how i wish we spent a few more days there...

we (hock, geok, jam, xm, jx and me) went to so many places, tried so much food, even shit... (haha, i meant the toilet themed restaurent in taipei), walked so many streets and night markets (shilin, jilong, miaokou, taichung, ximending), shopped like crazy (taichung, ximending, jiufen), viewed breathtaking scenery (taipei 101, yangmingshan), travelled by foot and all kinds of local transportation (big buses, small buses, cabs, metro aka MRT, speed rails, traditional trains), abd we even climbed mountains (yangmingshan's qixing shan).

the best part of backpacking is that u never need to suit timings. no need to rush between destinations, or wait for ppl, or go to places u dun want in ur itinerary. u can choose the places u wanna visit, spend as much time u want to there! relax and enjoy the view. soak in the atmosphere. well, about scenery. taipei 101 needless to say, offers great views. totally mesmerising. for a mere $20 or cheaper if u have speed rail tickets which we had, u get to go to levels 88 to 91. to see the damper baby, the view from the fully glass-panelled room and the open observatory. as we went at night, wad we saw was the night view. the entire night life of taipei city! oh my... gorgeous. with moving vehicles along brightly lit roads and street vendor stalls, with every corner covered with neon lights of buildings and signboards. so pretty.

and yangming shan! we climbed so high we went into the clouds! due to bad weather and it was getting dark, we didn't go all the way up to qixing shan (highest mountain in yangming shan park). sigh. we were already at the entrance of the trek path, which we spent so long finding! but it was still quite a feat that we climbed so high on foot! and for me, dunno why i so stupid, i left for yangming shan in jeans and sneakers only to realise how dumd i was. but at least there were put to the trek test and passed. at least they are still in good condititon now... haha. although we missed the bus that took us to xiao you keng, the entrance to qixingshan, the experience of walking up was no doubt tiring but much more worth it! we saw so much more views that i bet one couldn't see by the roads, and we wouldn't have seen the group of taiwanese who guided us along. thx so much! they even introduced us to a restaurent to have lunch up near the mountains. though it was hard to find, and we almost gave up, we finally found it. and i tell u... it is so so extremely good. i bet the others would agree with me. if they are reading this, i bet they are nodding their heads so hard now... haha. it's called guan chen. try it. we had a 9 course meal for only around $100! for 6 ppl, we ate so much and finished every last bit cos it was just too good!

i dun think i even need to talk bout the night markets. other then good-looking shop owners and good food and good shopping. u can really feel the vibes and culture of the taiwan night life. bustling, fun and ever lasting. haha. and it's pretty funny when u see those smaller stalls squeezing in between the already crowded streets, trying to run for their life while pushing their food or clothes carts away into side alleys and behind advertisement signs. as the police motorcycle rides in with an alarm, the original "come come, here got discounted goods, buy 1 get 1 free" messages from the ppl holding mics in legal shops turn to "the police is here, the police is here, run, run". haha. it happens in all night markets and many times a night. the stalls just go from point to point and return but never goet caught, simply just chased all over the market. wad a sight! when the police return, it all repeats itself. some main shops even allow the illegal carts to enter their shops, so it turns 'legal' for a moment and it's easier to bring back out tho the original position for business. so funny. anyway, we ate so much all the time that i was never full. i eat even before the previous meal is digested! haha.

posted loads of pics onto facebook, though limited cos of facebk limitations. u can still see the main things i talked about! food, ppl, night life, scenery, etc.

i guess the best part of the whole trip was the experience of meeting the locals. the shops were always so friendly and the locals always glad to help. if u think singapore's service was ok, u should go taiwan. we all miss it already. they are always in service, greeting u whenever u enter a shop (huan ying guang lin) and (xie xie guang lin) when u leave. even if u dun buy anything, they smile sincerely as u leave. and they seem to remember each member as a friend cos when u return later, they seem really glad to see u again. throughout the entire journey, so many ppl, esp shop assistants ans locals talk to us like friends when we enter. they know we're not locals since they can hear our non-taiwanese accent (which i faked but was rather a nuisance), and would start chatting with us, asking us where we're from, why we're there, and suggested possible places to visit during our stay and finally wishing us a pleasant journey and a fun trip. took pics with some of them! such friendly ppl. in a food shop, an auntie actually thought we were japanese and started explaining the menu to us in jap. which i understood and wanted to continue faking our identities so that it would be less embarassing for her as she initiated the mistake. but in the end, we told her we understood chinese and she was pretty shy after that. haha.

the trip was fun i would definitely go again if i had to rechoose. and finally, other than tlking bout the trip, i'd like to take this opportunity to thank a few ppl.

firstly, taiwan and your friendly ppl! if not for your views and food and shopping which attracted us to go there in the first place, we wouldn't have been there. and the ppl. how i wish we couls keep in contact. u were all so great and helpful. if not for u all, we may have lost our ways so mmany times. thanks for the guide. and thanks for reccommending all the great places to visit, shop and eat. they all definitely increased the fun factor by a lot, making the entire experience a more wholesome one!

next, my taiwan companions! thx all for being there for me always. without u all, the trip would be so much more different and confirm less fun. special thx to hl and geok who were the main brains of thr trip. they planned most of the itinerary and booking such that we covered as much as we could at a relaxing pace, visiting scenic places, tourist spots and night lives. and if not for geok's expertise in taiwanese destinations and transportation, we could have gotten lost so many times. but we always reached where we wanted to. the tics and hotel choices were also by hl and geok. affordable yet comfortable. really wise of u both! thx...

next, to all who sent me off, esp kf. thanks for going all the way down to the airport, though we couldn't spend much time with u as we had to enter the departure hall soon to catch our flight. nvm, we'll go overseas together next time k! and those who msged me bon voyage like weili, justin, hui and others who wished me silently. i know... haha.

finally, sorry. sorry for those i couldn't go with. sorry to my companions for anything i've done wrong along the trip. sorry to ppl that i didn't get gifts for. it's not that i dun wan. it's that my luggage no space and there is really nothing i can find that i can give u or suit u. scared u dun like mah. tried my best to find though... really. sorry to yh that i didn't meet u in taipei though i say i might. justin said u waited? so sorry. wanted to, but schedule too full, and me and my travelling buddies made a decision not to split up due to safety reasons in a unfamiliar country. so it was harder to meet u alone and spend time together. i'd still like to meet u when i go alone or with fewer ppl next time! u can show me around then!

ok, so much have been said and done but that is never enough as it's only a part of my fantabulous advanture. view my pics on facebook if u can! see ya soon! take care.

I'm back!

2008-10-25T17:02:00.003+08:00

yeah yeah yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the week in Taiwan was one of the best times i had this year! ok gtg now. will tell u all about it in the next entry! and so many photos capturing all our best moments and memories! dunno how to show u all... haha. and thx to hl, geok, jam, xm and jx for being my best companions for the wonderful journey. hope we get to go out so much more! see ya! yeah yeah yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

revitalised!

2008-10-17T23:14:00.002+08:00

Finally! my long awaited break came and i'm half way into my enjoyment. it's like an ORD retreat where i finally rest.

just came back from aloha loyang which was pretty much fun and relaxing. slightly better then the one at changi. i'm talking abt the overall experience, crowd, food , entertainment, and non-entertainment (like fights and all that). not only did we have a pool this time, the terrace was bigger and more open. probably cos only our pltn and ok, though pltn 4 was just nearby, it was much more close and cosy. finally had the repose i expected one shud have after spending 3 days at a chalet. great!

going to taiwan this coming sun! yeah.

u there... hang in there and be strong. we're in this together. take care!

I'm brought to this earth to bring happiness to everyone.

2008-10-03T21:18:00.002+08:00

Botak jones...just ate it. not as good as i always thought it would be. the 300g aus steak was not bad though. dun choose the 200g cos it ain't smaller just thinner. thicker would be juicier. the fries...oh my. nice but too much. i tot the set meals only had a little so i ordered a regular cheddar cheese one to try. and altogether, they were equivalent to 6 packets of mac large fries! my mum, dad, grandma ate 2, i ate 3, and we left 1 uneaten after really feeling that they were about to come right back out. guess i really won't be touching western for quite some time.

to you, take care of ur legs and back and gastric. hope it doesn't hurt anymore.

it's ironic how i wan to be nicer to my fam yet just can't do anything about it. like i always tell myself to appreciate my fam more, i can't express it even immediately after saying it. many times, my sis says i treat frens much better than i treat them. i even spend more time outside than at home. think that's also rather true for most of u right? so reflecting into it, though not submissing to the idea that wad i've been doing is nonetheless wad i'm already supposed to do, and insisting that that wasn't true, i tried to change. i tried to treat my fam how i treat my frens, to be fair mah... the equality worked out weird. something u may call generation gap. somehow, my parents can't really grasp the idea of sarcasm. like how i would always 'suan' my frens, my parents took the words too seriously, which meant more explaining to be done. and vice versa. when they try to be lame or sarcastic, it's either overly said already or a little hurtful, since it comes from a close one. so i guess, it can't work out. i can't treat my fam exactly how i treat my frens. gotta try new tactics. but i guess the general rule is to be true to everyone around u, from fam to fren, from neighbour to the guy in the corner of ur flat doing who knows wad. haha. just be truthful, sincere and always try to understand and spend much more quality time with each other. i know it's easier said than done cos even after typing this i may do otherwise against my wishes, but at least try.

have fun and do good! love ur family more! they're the ones who'll stay by u always ultimately!

currrently

2008-09-30T23:00:00.002+08:00

as the long planned study trip draws near, so does the anxiety. can't help but feel excited yet at the same time masked by the anticipation of life over there. starting to feel scared, sometimes even thinking whether wad i've done is the right thing. since young, i've been a family person, so sticking and relying of course on my parents for almost all my needs. hence, leaving them seems too hard to bear. not to mention having no close friends there for support, to make me feel at home. no one to gossip with me for the starting days. hope i make many wonderful friends over there... at the same time, i've got to cope with the tremendous workload while adapting to the changes. i'm really starting to feel the withdrawal symtoms, though i'm now still at home with my fam.

selamat hari raya! and for the children, happy children's day!

F1 frenzy

2008-09-27T17:04:00.003+08:00

hey all! F1 is here and bet those race fanatics are all geared up for the world's first night race right here in singapore! that's right, not only that, u'll get to see all those famous racers getting ready for the three day event. and i was so lucky to be a metre away from lewis hamilton and inches from nic rosberg and so many other racers all over the globe. *brag brag brag* haha i know... guess that's the closest i can get to them cos i was kinda professional security at that time of sweep. actually, they're kinda short in person but built. so exciting seeing all the action from the paddock and of course live on tv for those of u who r smart enough not to spend unnecessary money for a glimpse of blurred vision. haha. good for u!

watched vicky cristina barcelona on fri with sam and kf, and had astons and toast with jamie, weili. vcb was rather good. i didn't know wad to expect at first but came out of the cinema knowing y i was lured to it in the first place. it presents 2 friends seeking new life in barcelona when they ended up growing fond of new friends despite attachments back at home. they remain the same with their intentions strong in mind yet dealing with uncertainties as they return. well, the morale i get is that one should live for oneself without bothering how others label u as long as it's just and most importantly it provides your trailing happiness.

enjoy life ppl, and as wad they always say, never live your life with regrets, instead live it to the fullest!

so far so good.

2008-09-21T01:46:00.002+08:00

can't really say i'm in such a bad situation now. i mean, i'm really considered fortunate to have so many good things and ppl around me. thank god for family and true great friends, who showed me all the support i need.

can't help one thing though. my attention seeking, self denying nature is getting on my nerves. i always thought the empty hole was my zeal for the uncanny resemblance of partnership, or probably just my desire to hold on. what wishful thinking. i'm so over this, or at least i finally have to. doing all this led to nowhere but misery and definitely more emoness. have i done the right thing to reveal or am i just a slut. haha. bet u guys agree on that. i need care and love ppl, that's why i'm doing wad i'm doing, to get myself out of this self-pitying state. how can alternatives bring the surfacing of true characteristics of me without compromising on great quality that i've been emphasizing on? should i give up, and even so will i? am i willing to? no, hurting myself seems ultimate pleasure to my sullen state. my mind (or my heart can't help it) nonetheless, i'm trying even if to no avail. heck it as long as it doesn't hurt anyone or myself. show me the love...

ok, sydney here i come! oh and before that...taiwan! haha.

Dental Surgery

2008-09-10T11:49:00.003+08:00

haha! just had my dental surgery on tues. still recovering. quite a successful op. It was huge i tell u! Luckily i kept all my wisdom safe with me, so i'm pretty alright. ha. yup, and off the along with a free op comes a week worth's of break. good. it's long awaited and well-deserved. shall enjoy myself so very much! haha.

bought my new laptop!!! yeah! super nice k. HP Pavilion dv5-1034TX. sounds cool? definitely. with integrated webcam it shows you everything (me) , fingerprint recognition, 15.4" WXGA, nvidia geforce 9600 graphics, altec lansing in-built speakers, 4GB DDR2 ram, presentation pointers, tv tuners (which means i can watch tv on my laptop!), and so so much more! so happy! thanks dad! for those out there still requiring technology... it's ok, u'll get ur chance at sitex 08.

ok. stay happy.

choices made and to be made.

2008-08-31T12:48:00.003+08:00

I finally paid and accepted Usyd's offer on my Australian degree, Animal and Veterinary Bioscience. had been doing tons of research and finally decided that it was the right move and a wise decision! wish me luck over there and do come visit me!

went to xixun's projectfirstchance concert yesterday at the zoo. quite ok cos got campus superstar 2 and idol finalist performances. still not too bad. but feel sorry for xixun cos the response was rather bad, only 30+ ppl turned up for the 200 audience concert and the shaw amphitheatre looked so empty... Guess it was the heavy downpour and weird location that caused the flop. fell sick cos i gney gney (stubbornl) wanted to visit all exhibits, so i camwhored everywhere under my umbrella until my cam batt went flat... haha. walked around the zoo since it's been a while since i've been there, and a lot of animals were missing! empty habitats were common and disappointing. saw some new ones like the Australian Outback, Giant Galapogus Tortoise and otters exhibit. i really wanna work there when i graduate, which further confirms my decisions and spurred me on.

ate kuishinbo with mum and sis last mon. so so many varieties! delicately prepared buffet tables everywhere! everything japanese u can think of is there. soba, udon, paper hotpot, curry, fried rice, clam porridge, tepanyaki, steamed and boiled delicacies, fried and grilled prawn, unagi, sushi, sashimi, seafood (including famous hokkaido crabs and scallops), drinks of all kinds, and two full tables of cakes, mochis. tarts, pastries, chocolates, ice cream, eclairs, fondue fountain, fruits palette... and so much more! why do i sound like i'm advertising for them. i should earn some commission! haha. nice but ex if u go at night. try booking in advance so u get seats inside (nearer the food mah...) and they may have limited dishes that are served so many ppl queue to take after an announcement. go in the aft it's around $30, night $40. can try ba.

ok. see ya soon! happy happy dim sum steaming in a pot...

AHM!

2008-08-25T01:10:00.002+08:00

yeah, did my best run after quite some time. looks like my training paid off. though this 21km was quite a bother for most; as in even fast frequent marathon runners felt the pain today, it was rather fun for me. at least my legs are not as sore as others, thank God! and i finished below 2hr15min, which is a huge improvement compared to last year's ahm and my disgraceful stan chart marathon. just finished washing my shoes at 1am, cos it raind and the entire padang field was mud and more mud! i'm talking about soil+water, not... if u're thinking about those, sam. haha!

ok, i had my first driving lesson on sat. super nervous but fun! haha. i'm embarassed to say i stalled at least 5 times on the road. i'm sorry, please be patient. but my instructor is nice, more encouraging words than dismissive scoldings.

sat was a total rush for me. i left my pdl in camp so had to go back to get it. then rushed to meet kf and yinghong for the recordings, but major jam on the road... then to my driving lessons, then saw jiaxin at cdc after my lesson (he ended the same time as me and parked behind me.) We had dinner at madjacks, jalan kayu. thought we had so much time since we're already so near camp and it was still early when we got there, so was shocked when i casually checked the time and realised we only had 15mins to rush back, and dessert wasn't even served yet. we gobbled whatever we could and cabbed back. just when u thought u need not rush after rushing and cabbing the whole day from place to place, to just sit down and slowly enjoy a meal, i had to be on the move again. well, at least i accomplished more within a day and it felt fulfilling.

wanted to go aus study fair but realised it was not at suntec but orchard hotel so didn't go cos too tired. went to the travel fair instead. haha... and peninsular plaza, to buy shoes but didn't see wad i was looking for. found and bought them some place near there. nice converse sneakers! =) haha, damn paiseh walking to all the shoe shops with ppl looking at my muddy nb shoes.

rmb: be happy for yourself and those who care about you! till later!

i'm confused.

2008-08-23T00:22:00.002+08:00

about human relationships. dunno how to react to ppl anymore. sometimes, u think that u've done nothing wrong but they still haunt u. hope i'm still motivated to be good and kind, to want to live as a better being, and not one that is too practical, materialistic, or selfish. competition kills... so beware when u've decided to be in one. sometimes, u doun't really have a choice. as u've decided to let the matter rest, the opponent continues his backstabbing and worse, with stronger allies. what should i do then? fight back and stand up for my rights? no... i've already retreated from your betrayal, but it still hits me directly. i thought we were friends. why do u have to do this? what have i done? be nice ppl.

at least i'm starting to appreciate true friends around me better now. friends that stood by you and mended your wounds, sometimes even shooting back at them for u...haha. thanks friends...true friends.

having my first driving lesson tmw! exciting. so nervous to drive on the road for the first time. so stupid of me to leave my pdl back in camp. sigh... gotta go back tmw morn to take it. haha. doing a charity recording at yh's place tmw. dunno wad it's about though.

ok. stop emoing ppl. cheer up! it can only get better. see ya soon!

I bought my guitar!

2008-08-15T22:40:00.002+08:00

Yes! finally got my guitar... for $255. inclusive of a chord book, guitar bag, picks, digital tuner, strap. acoustic takamine, from peninsular plaza, behind funan mall. thanks ed for your expertise, and continue teaching me k! that justs means that i would have to practice doubly hard since the money is paid. haha.

watched Bad habits and Money no enough 2 this week. bad habits was ok, telling a story about two anoraexic (correct spelling?) people. money no enough was funny yet touching. well, at least it made me tear.

donating blood this sun at tampines. hope i can save more lives while i still can. bloodbank is in need of blood! people please help.

love ya! see ya soon. tata.

Happy National Day! yeah!

2008-08-09T11:54:00.003+08:00

Wondering how i'm still using this com though it died. thanks to ys who told me to press on the F8 the moment the intel sign came up till it showed an advanced screen. then load the com using safe mode. but still, it's weird cos everything is so big! dunno how to make it smaller. sigh. i shud go for computer lessons.

watched journey to the centre of the earth on fri with kf. haha. saw some ppl doing something in the seats next to us. haha. jing4 bao4 k. they were both girls. shan't elaborate. the movie was so-so, just as the critics said it was. it's nice but predictable, a good show for children, or those young-at-heart, like me! haha, not typically childish though. ok lah.

that person pricked me again this week, made me kinda sad. i know it shouldn't affect me anymore but how can i control my feelings. it's not anything roast duck did, but rather wad he didn't. still must maintain my composure. hang in there man, ppl who are going through hard times as well, time will heal or at least make u forget. so just wait till the storm's over.

hey zhamusi, hope u're fine as well. see ya soon. doing NDP reception on sun.

Ain't no other man, but...

2008-08-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

watched the mummy on fri, tomb of the dragon emperor. ok lah, not that bad but not that fantastic either. i would give 3/5 stars? the effects were quite nice, but the storyline is a little too unrealistic and lame. the ending is abrupt too, i mean, when the army is finally revived, they die again shortly after, so ya...

went to michelle's house on sat for just's surprise bdae party! the best part was the house, or rather the mansion/palace! it was like, woah! i said omg at least 20 times upon exploring different parts of the mansion! it was like in a movie where the antique statues and chandeliers exhibit a european ambience in the 1800s. the grand stairway in the main lobby, like the one in titanic. the dining room, fit for a king's banquet! the ktv room, tv room, gym, pool table, swimming pool, sauna, all interlinked in 4 levels of the hotel by a glass lift in the mansion! even the mahjong table is automated! have u ever seen or played a mahjong game that doesn't require 'washing' of the tiles before each game? ya, the one i saw did everything for u... super rich sia. motivated me to work harder and thus make enough money to build a mansion like this to live in! by then, i'll invite all my friends to come stay k! stayed over at just's place that night.

ok... hope all goes well from now on. bye!